Monday, November 21, 2011

We Made It Through the Wilderness

[Mariedda by Sarah R.  Thanks!]

G'day, bush rangers!

Well, what an exciting morning this has been.

So:  Once upon a time, there was an elegant little Italian bakery on my street that sold almond cookies.  

They melted on your tongue and were as light as air and were naturally gluten-free, since they were made of nothing but almond flour and sugar and perfection.  

Each cookie was shaped like a delicate clamshell and cost like $5.  

It was outrageous.
Highway robbery.

They were worth it. 

Now:  The girl who ran the bakery was really nice.
And she was really, really, unbelievably hot.
She had a shaved head, the hint of an accent, a dangling cross earring in just one ear, a husband (lalalaIdon'tseeeeeehim), a beaming white smile, and a tight white apron that showed off her boyish hips.  

She looked exactly like Ani Difranco during that period when all dykes everywhere were in love with her.

When you bought a cookie, or, in a fit of extravagance, two of them, she would chat with you for minutes on end about your day, looking deep into your eyes - no matter how long the line was - as she carefully wrapped each almond cloud in whisper-thin gold tissue paper and lovingly tied it with a real satin ribbon. 

She would always give every cookie a gentle, final pat when finished and then wink at you as you walked out the door, as if she had just caressed your bottom in a crowded room and no one had noticed.
[via kennabot]

I fucking worshipped her.  

So did everyone else in the neighborhood.

She did a brisk business with lesbians who queued up just to look at her and sigh at the damn waste of it all.   
[thanks Sburg]

One day, while walking down the street, jingling the quarters in my pocket, I looked in the windows of the Italian bakery...and it was gone.

Gone!  The windows were papered up!  A hastily scribbled note on the door said, "Thank you to all our wonderful customers!"


My cookies!  My crush!

                              [via rufflemyhair]

I never even knew her name.  
Or found out how to make those cookies.

A cold, pastryless month went by.
[thanks Celeste]

And then!

This morning, as I went to get coffee, I saw it:

They had replaced my bakery with an old-fashioned candy store!!

[thanks dani]

The best possible replacement!

Candy buttons!  Candy sticks in glass jars!  Butterscotch!  Rock sugar in rainbow colors!

Thrilled beyond belief, ready to welcome the new candy store with my patronage, I tried to push the door open, but it was stuck. 

There were two aproned men inside, behind the register.
They looked at me quizzically.

Thinking that I needed a bit more force to push it open, I flung myself repeatedly against the glass door like a demented seagull,  all the while yelling "Candy store! Candy store!"

[by Magnus]

Um, no. 
The store was just locked.
It wasn't open yet.  

'Cause it was 8:30 a.m. on a Sunday.

Inside, the two owners were staring at me with that special expression I used to save, when working at Whole Foods, for women in yoga pants who were freaking the fuck out because they couldn't find their favorite chocolate bar.
[via hungoverowls]

Well! Who cares.  
There's a candy store in my neighborhood now, and even though I'll miss the almond cookies, and I'll miss the girl who baked them...somehow, some way, I shall carry on.

That girl, btdubbs, was my first official crush on a known straight girl in years.  

I usually can't get a crush on straight girls, no matter how cute.

Maybe it's the pheromones or something.
[via oceantides]

But! there's a first for everything, and astute reader (name has been changed) Ella R. wants to talk about firsts.  

She sent me this: 

Dear Effing Dykes chica,

I liked the last blog about trying to figure out if you're on a date with a girl. But I need your advice please. Could you maybe talk about what to do when you both already know you're on a date?  I'm 18 and I've been out on a couple dates with this girl I like alot, and we've made out and it's been hot and I think I want to sleep with her but I'm a virgin lol.  How do that?  What was your first time like?

Thanks, Ella

Oh, memories.  
[thanks Theresa E.]

I'm happy you asked this, Ella.
We'll do the last blog - How Do You Know If You're On a Date? - and this blog - What To Do With Your Hands After You've Solved That Riddle - as like a two-part miniseries, mmkay?

A very special Dyke Dating episode.
[thanks Lauren]

That's not to say I'm going to be any help. 


In fact, I'm about the worst person possible to ask about transitioning from "the date" to "more".

This is because:

#1.  I have no game.  
[thanks Essie and Jules]

You will learn nothing from me here.
It's actually frightening how little game I have.  


"Um. I have hot cider.'s at my house."  

That, y'allfags, is verbatim what I said when I recently asked a crush to come home with me after a date.  


I have never successfully had that moment that dykes in movies and TV shows have - you know, that moment when both women just look at each other and suddenly know they're gonna go do it.  

I don't know how to do that.  
That instant thing.
I would say that it probably just doesn't happen like that in real life, except I personally know several irritating gayelles who can lock eyes with a woman across the room and be fucking in a bathroom stall half an hour later.  

Since I have a hard time figuring out whether or not I'm on a date in the first place, multiply that uncertainty by, oh, say, A THOUSAND MILLION and you get a good idea of how well I'll be able to tell if someone wants to sleep with me.

I require things to be spelled out.  
[thanks Sburg]

I need to know everyone's on board.  I could never just go on a date, sense a girl is into me, and grab her face.   



I always ask.   Even if it kills the mood. 

I need to know.

"Sooo...I like you.  Do you like me?  Yes?  Ok, I'm wondering if you want to maybe, um, come over.  Like, later.  Not right now. (Pause) Tonight, though." 

"Do you want to make out?  But maybe not do more than that just yet?"
[thanks Beth]

I have said these things.

I'll take the weird looks I get!  I don't mind! 

At least then I'm sure that all parties involved really do want to get down.

But really though - it's unnecessary.  

Why would anyone stick around longer than they wanted to?  

Other people will help you with knowing what to do.

Go with your gut, Ella.  You'll know if she wants to sleep with you.  You'll know when the time is right.

If you're not sure, you can always ask.  
[Thanks Liz S. from zac-e-wannabe]

#2.  My first time sleeping with a girl...was terrible.

I can't believe we've never shared our "first time" stories here.

I mean, it was obviously not the worst ever because I was actually having sex with a girl and that was something I was deeply interested in doing, but things could have been better.

My first time should have been amazing.

It should have been all naked boobs and soft skin and omigod and rainbow glitter starbursts all flying around the room and shit.

It should have been like when King Arthur pulls the sword from the stone and realizes he's the boy king and that his whole life has been gearing up to that. exact. moment. 

But instead, it was awful - I couldn't enjoy a minute of it.
Couldn't relax.

Because I lied, Ella.

I lied to my first girlfriend.  I told her I had "done it before."  

I told her this because I was so, so, so ready to sleep with her (dying for it) and I knew she was nervous to have sex with another girl and she wanted someone to "show her the ropes" so she didn't "do it wrong." 
[via stinker]

I was terrified that she would change her mind and not sleep with me if she found out I was a virgin, so...
I lied.

I said I had experience. 

And I DID have experience!

...with my own hand.
[thanks Annaliese L.]

How different could it be?  I reasoned.  She's got what I've got.

I know my way around my stuff. 
[thanks Amanda W.]

What a shitty thing to do.
How assy can you be.  

It could have been beautiful.  
[via lesbianswholooklikeumlesbians]

It could have been two girls learning from one another and sharing each other's first time having ladysex. 

Instead, I was in a cold sweat and panicking because I couldn't get her bra undone and her clit, mysteriously, seemed to work differently than mine. 
[thanks Rae]

I don't really even remember the sex part.

All I remember is worrying about whether or not my girlfriend was buying it, and concentrating very hard on whether or not she was having a good time.  

It didn't last very long.  It was panicky teenaged groping, it was utterly unromantic and awful, and it was all my fault for being a lying asshole.

[thanks Amy]

Ohhhmigod Ella learn from me.  Never lie about sex stuff. 

I think your first time is important, and I would do it all over - start from scratch - if I could. 

*Navel Gazing!* It's possible that the reason I over-communicate now, when trying to transition from "date" to "bed", is a direct result of my utter lack of communication back in the day. 

Like the Ghost of Christmas Past, doomed to wander the earth in penance for his deeds in life.

The only thing I've ever learned about moving from a date to physical stuff is:

You can't intention sex.

You can't control it, either.  

Planning to have sex makes things weird.  There's another person involved, y'know.

If it's supposed to happen, it'll happen.

And if it doesn't, there's a reason. 

[thanks Kelsie and Cam]

Anybody got any advice for Ella and her dating transition problems?

Who has a better "first time" story than me?  



  1. My first time was almost a complete surprise, I was still just a baby, so high school(and hetero-flexibles) were disturbingly close in my rear-veiw, and I'd just become resigned to the fact that every girl, ever, was straight, ever, even if she grabbed my bum, even if we made several unnecessary trips to the circle k over the course of several days, even if she insists we go swimming in an unheated pool at night! I had developed terrible blindness, but somehow, despite my best effort at apathy, I caught on before she actually started taking my pants off XD

  2. My first time only rocked because we both had no idea what we were doing, and she was super hot and we didn't quite make the bed. But it was fabulous and she was my first almost love- which made it that much cuter. It was sickeningly cute and wicked fun and super consensual- sad day when I found out she was actaully stright. =/

  3. My first time was fucking amazing! I leaned over to light a candle and my best girl friend lifted up my shirt and started kissing my back.

    Sweet Jesus, my body came to life in ways I never knew it could. And it was all so perfectly natural, not at all sloppy and adolescent.

    Afterwards, I purred like a kitten.

  4. It was awkward, because I was an awkward teen and so was she. But we were both open about being an first-timer and because of that we enjoyed ourselves. And you know what? We just got better with practice.

  5. 14 years old: I was Dorothy in the wizard of oz at my high school, she was the cowardly lion, we let the tin man and the scarecrow watch.

    it was awful, really mind-numbingly awful, but the story is so priceless I don't even mind.

  6. My first time with a girl was not quite 2 years ago. I was with an abusive Asshole of a boyfriend, at his birthday. He thought it was hot when I made out with girls. So these two girls were both making out with me, and one of them told my boyfriend, "if you don't hit this, we will." and he told them where his room was. So the two girls led me on in and we had an all girl threesome......though I really didn't do much; I was too scared to go down on them lol. It was pretty awesome though!

  7. My first time was.....drunk.
    Well maybe not so much a first time, maybe a first attempt.
    We kind of explored each other and did lots of touching and there was lots of moaning.
    It was actually kind of awkward.
    But my first time with the first girl I actually loved....that was hott. also drunk but pretty hott. we stumbled into my room after walking from a party just talking about sex. she asked me if I would still love her if she was a guy. ok....this is where is gets cheesy. I said I already did and then there was intense makeout and ripping off clothes and ya....

  8. As I'm a geek, I did what geeks do. I studied for my first time. Yes. Studied. I read articles about the g-spot. I read lesbian romance novels and lesbian erotica.

    *Porn does not count. Porn is performance for performance sake. There is no useful information there.

    I don't know if what I learned made it better, or if I was just better because I was less nervous because I studied.

    But I'm a geek... information makes me less nervous.

  9. Holy shit Krista. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW?!?!?! I just went on my first lady date today (but I knew the girl from making out with her at a party before *ahem*) and we hit it off and since that OBVS means we're meant to be I keep envisioning having sex... I know it would be her first time. I kinda coaxed her out of the closet. So I would feel obligated to make her feel comfortable but it would be MY first time too and I was ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATING LYING TO HER. Fuck.

    Thank you for saving me. You are an absolute saint.

  10. I told the first girl I slept with that I had done it before and I ended up accidentally making her squirt :3
    we had sex about 12 times in 6 hours!!! it was amazing!!

  11. Really great advice. The most important thing is to be on the same page and honestly, if there is chemistry and it's meant to happen it will!

    I won't share my first time here because she also reads E.D and that's just awkward (;

    Great post!

  12. I lied to my first girlfriend but i think it made me feel more confident. It didnt end badly for me (i dont think) she seemed to be enjoying every second of it & i was just happy to be finally having sex with her. Needless to say, 5 years later (on & off) we are still bumping uglies!

  13. My first time was in a tent. Near a river. At 13 years old with my then best friend/girlfriend. It was awkward, sweet, pretty hot, and ultimately really freaking weird because she wanted to cuddle and hold hands afterwards (I was totally a "bamf" and did not want to be so sickly sweet). The SECOND time, however... ho-lee-shit. I got down with my towns most sought after and notorious lesbian. 5 hours. Non stop. I didn't even care about the chafing. And there was lots of chafing. She had been with 12 other girls at that point, but had never gone down on anyone. Guess who taught her? Oh yeah. Fond memories.

  14. My first time was about a month after I split up from my husband (I had things I needed to explore about myself....derrr). She was over a decade younger than me and this cute little blonde boi all brimming with confidence. She came up to me in the gay club I'd started going to and told me I was the hottest woman there. We danced and talked and then she said so you coming home with me or not? Then we went back to her place and she showed me the ropes, knowing it was my first time. She had the L word playing in the background so her housemate couldn't hear us (there is no way she couldn't have heard). But OMG, the L word, so cliched hahaha. But it was awesome I was in lady-heaven. Until she told me the next day she had a gf :( Boo.
    I find that the "hottest/sexiest/cutest girl in this place" line works a charm in my experience since then. Who doesn't like being told that.....?

  15. I agree on all counts.

    1) We very seldom fall for straight women, no matter how hot, because there's no pheromones. Somehow, we sense that. The "straight" women I have crushed on ended up not being that straight, after all. And I had sensed it. Despite the boyfriend, husband, whatever.

    2) "Planning" sex or explicitely mentioning it beforehand is a big mistake I have done in the past. It will only make both of you even more nervous. Don't. Even if the wait and the uncertainty are driving you nuts.

    3) Lying about your past experience, major no-no. But I guess you could still lie by omission. Just don't mention it's your first time.

  16. My first time was terrifying and beautiful.

    I had met this Latina at a party and she and I started making out and dancing (I was drunk beyond words and ended up puking out the window out my friend's car later that night). Since I was too drunk to do anything but puke, my friend gave her my number and got me hers. We had been texting and such for about a month.

    One night, we went to the gay club with all our friends and we made out and danced some more, this time, I was not drunk, but rather, delightfully buzzed. We went back to my dorm room where we proceeded to make out for about an hour. We didn't end up doing it then, but she slept in my bed that night. The next night, she was going out with some friends and I had homework. She came to my dorm, woke me up, took me to her apartment and somehow, my freshman awkwardness got me laid. She laid me on my back and did things that guys had done but never felt so good. She let me go down on her, showed me what to do, and taught me how to make ladylove.

    We were fuck buddies and we both used each other as bootie call, but I didn't mind.

  17. Oh Krista. I really needed this on a Tuesday morning in my cube when I really want to be at home with my girlfriend on the couch with our pugs. You make me laugh. Thank you. And, although I have no idea what I am talking about (AT ALL), as I have only kissed two women (ever), one being my girlfriend, I would have to say/suggest that the first woman I kissed (who was not my gf) was very warm and sexy and kind and asked "is this OK"? followed by hot hot make out (then "is this ok"?)...It made me feel so relaxed and comfortable and it's a good way to guage the sitch while keeping it sexy. Just sayin' xoxo

  18. My first time was in high school (when I still thought I was "straight") while waiting for the sixth Harry Potter book to be released, with my best fried and her girlfriend. We got tired of waiting til midnight for the book (with too many people in wizard robes) and went back to my house, drank a fifth of tequila, and ended up having a threesome in the bottom twin of my bunk bed.

    The next morning, we bought Harry Potter as originally planned, and never had a repeat performance.

    It actually took another accidental threesome in college and falling in love with a teammate for me to realize I was queer, and at that point, I had the cliched but absolutely wonderful, nervous but madly in love "first-time" mindblowing experience that led to four fantastic years of mindblowing sex and cohabitation.

    I never get tired of telling the tequila-Potter-bunkbed lesbian threesome story.

  19. Mine involved a hurricane, not-quite skinny dipping, and a terrible french movie that we only got about 5 minutes into before I put my fingers in her mouth...We got married. Anywho. I always assumed the baker's husband was gay, too--my best guy friend would go in and buy overpriced macarons and ogle them. Glad for the candy shop, though!

  20. Mine was awesome. It wasn't life changing, it wasn't soulful, it wasn't meaningful. It was just a hell of a lot of fun. It was my first year of college, and my house had a party. This girl I'd been flirt/chatting with came over and said: "Do you want to go someplace more private?" (For real, that is what she said.) I took about .12 seconds and then took her upstairs. Cue kissing, naked, sex, etc. Truth be told, I think it went great. I'd read enough erotica and random lesbian sex books to have an idea of the basics (not to mention my own... practice sessions). I know that the party line is always "you want your first time to be special, you'll always remember it." And yeah, you will always remember it, so don't do something dumb like get pressured into it. But when you're ready and comfortable... dive in and enjoy!

  21. Oh man, my first time was two teenaged high school girls groping around under the sheets fairly blindly (minus the knowledge of ourselves). But we were also in a hotel room with her best friend and friend's MOM in the other bed while on a Winterguard trip. I have to tell you now that I am not a quiet person and not waking her mom up was the hardest thing I've ever done. My mind was split between "Don't wake the mom!" and "OMFG this is so hot, she feels amazing". It's a very strange dichotomy.

    On a sidenote: Ms. Harry Potter Threesome, that is amazing. I'm jealous.

  22. I was a fresh young thing in college, and even though I told her exactly what my boundaries were and what I wasn't ready for, she did it anyway. So I dated her for two months, because that's what you do with your first. Then we broke up, then she coerced me to date her again, we ended it a month or two later (on her terms this time) and I was so relieved. I've spent a lot of time devoted to advocating for informed, enthusiastic consent since then.

    It's not specifically for ladygays, but here's my for-the-people Sex Talk Comic about communication, consent, and gettin' it on!

    My current partner has been a rockstar about boundaries and consent, and it has made all the difference.

  23. Mine could definitely have gone better...
    It involved a very shy and awkwardly self-conscious teenage me, free beer at a lesbian bar packed with all the queer ladies of Copenhagen, and then I only remember small glimpses until waking up naked in a (very attractive) strangers bed the next morning. I have very little idea of what actually happened during the act, so I can't really tell if it went well or badly. But since we hooked up a couple of times afterwards as well, I'm guessing it can't have been too bad...

    1. I had a very similar first time. :) It was a party at my plece, I was tremendously drunk (she was drunk too), we were talking and we sarted making out, went to my bedroom, after that I can´t remember much (just how much I liked going down on her, huh). I woke up alone and naked in my bed (she was up already). Since then we´ve been together a couple times.

  24. My brother walked in on us in the middle, didn't realize what he had walked in on (YAY for enormous duvets) and asked what type of pizza we wanted for dinner.

    The answer was cheese.

  25. Mine was amazing. Went in completely blind. I stayed over at a friend's house and we started talking about the threesome one of our male friend's had suggested. She said "we don't need him". I could only agree. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss her (Just...bicurious, I swear! HA! As soon as it was over I was like, I am DEFINITELY bisexual, nothing curious about it). But it led to more. I had zero clue what to do but it was so lovely and intense. She was amazing at everything and I even made her squirt. What an ego boost for a n00b :p

  26. This post was one week too late for me. I just lost my virginity to this beautiful (experienced) girl. It was quite awkward but great, you know? After the first and maybe second we have evolved into pretty fucking good sex.
    BUt to be honest I think it would have been better had we discussed a bit more what we liked...i know some of it now but her body is just so different from mine...

  27. I miss that pastry shop.

  28. My real first time was a couple months ago with someone I'd been attached to for years, who used to be the straight girl until she all of a sudden wasn't. I wasn't single, maybe shouldn't have done it, and our relationship is total shit right now, but I don't regret it for a second. It's not that our skills were all that--both of us are way better at sex with men--but it was kind of magical, what with all that anticipation and boobs and what not.

  29. Near the end of my marriage I had made friends with a very sexy lesbian. I had never given myself the opportunity to explore my sexuality, having married young and adhering to my strict, Conservative upbringing. As things became more strained between me and my husband, I found myself more drawn to her. When I finally left my husband, I realized that the close friendship I was developing with her was actually much more. She moved away, and we planned to meet up a month later - all the while flirting through emails, steamy texts, and phone calls. Finally, FINALLY, we were able to go out on our first date. We met at the hotel, decided to hang out a bit before dinner, and essentially devoured each other. It was beyond hot, not at all awkward. Touching her felt as natural to me as touching myself. We rushed through dinner to get back to our hotel for a sequel and spent the next 4 days in bed, except to grab a bite to eat or wash up in the shower. ;)A year later we're living together, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

  30. Aw, my real first time sucked. I was in love with my best friend and just decided to try it. She was responsive throughout but later "woke up" and made out like she'd been sleepfucking me and had no clue what I'd been doing. She then told me she'd been having an awesome sexy dream about her scumbag ex. Despite all this though, apparently I was quite good at what I was doing (reading the cues from her body).
    I gave myself a while to heal and tried it again a couple of weeks later. This time it worked. It's been two years since then, we're still fuckbuddies and the sex is beyond amazing.

  31. Ohhh, oh my god, this post and the last post? Yeah, last Sunday was the "is it a date?" date for me. And her roommate came home much too soon, so this week I'm stuck in "omg I want to do this sex thing but I have never DONE this sex thing but when and what if and what do I dooooo?" purgatory.
    So at some point after Thanksgiving, I'm going to have to have the "Um. I am a virgin. If you believe in that sort of term. So please be nice." conversation with her. Any advice? I'm hoping to sandwich it in between the removal of articles of clothing so nobody really pays too much attention to the whole I'm-still-a-virgin-and-I'm-in-my-mid-twenties thing. And then boom, sex!! Hopefully.
    Because this girl is sex on legs. Lord-a-mercy.

  32. When I was 16, I had sex with a girl I had been dating in the back of her car. I know classy but we both weren't out. Call it young teenage lust, it just evolved from usual making out, fondlintg to OMG we are going to have sex. I think the fumbling, head bumping, postioning and laughing made me forget about how nervous I was. I could tell she enjoyed it too.

  33. My first time was very drunken. Tbh I don't remember too much apart from the fact that she had managed to cut her leg and bled all over my romantic!

  34. My first time was young, fumbling and trying not to wake her parents... we couldn't get too loud or into it, and I really had no idea what I was doing. I thought it was amazing, even lacking an orgasm; and proceeded to believe she was my soulmate for the next 13 years, even as I had two husbands and several boyfriends. Cue my coming out, and ending up finding my love in the form of said soulmates ex girlfriend.... (soulmate is the straight one now) and I am so much happier.... and the sex? Absolutely amazing.

  35. My first time was with someone much older and WAY more experienced than myself. We somehow when from kissing (a first time for me) to her doing I had no idea what in the space of 10 minutes. She was really nice about it, and kept asking me if she could do things I'd never heard of before and I said okay because I did not want to sound dumb for not knowing what she meant. Anyway, she turned out to be one of the worst things I've ever had in my life, and I would not have been okay with how things went down if I'd known what she was asking (I was REALLY sheltered) but she was very good about asking if something was okay, which made me feel less dumb and like she cared about me (I'd only known her for four days at that point). I think its really important to be honest about where both people are and not to make an arbitrary deadline for sleeping with someone. If its meant to happen it will for sure, and its better to wait and maybe talk about it to be sure you're both on the same page.

  36. Not related to the first-time stories, which are awesome, but I do hate when people refer to women who are in relationships with men as confirmed as being straight. She might totally not be straight, she could be all kinds of queer! It just feels dismissive to me. :(

  37. My first time was only about 4 months ago and was ridiculous....

    I had spent the months leading up to it being really rather promiscuous with a variety of men (including quite a few friends). It was fun, but I think I was doing it in response to the confusion over my sexuality and the growing realisation that something was missing.

    But then, on an insane night out with a few friends (gay and straight) we ended up at a trashy and horribly empty gay bar where I met the sister of a female friend's friend. Everyone got steadily more and more drunk on the cheap shots and overpriced beer until someone suggested going back to their car to get a bottle of vodka and drinking it on a backstreet somewhere.

    At some point during this process I ended up with my friend's friend in a carpark where he casually mentioned to me that both my his sister and my female friend were really into me. This was something I was definitely not aware of, mainly because I am totally blind to stuff like this. Somehow, by the end of the night I ended up in a shed on a farm 2 hours out of the city drunk and very high, half naked and being painted head to toe in red paint while making out with the sister, listening to low key trance music and watching a bloke do fire poi.

    The next thing I know it's 2pm the next day, I'm at this girl's beach house an hour further out of the city and we'd been having sex for the past 6 hours. It was fun, but not the earth shattering experience of sleeping with someone you're really into/care about. It was more like your typical one night stand and something that had to be done. Plus, it makes for a pretty good coming out story (but not one I'll be telling the grandkids...)

    Ultimately, doing it in a situation where I wasn't emotionally involved was actually a positive for me.

    I eventually made it back to the city and, not knowing quite how to react to the past 24 hours, called the friend from the night before who was into me and who had been texting me to that effect after i had we had gone our separate ways. We caught up for a drink that evening and she talked me through my experience - she was really supportive and helpful and eventually we somehow ended up kissing and I went back to her place...

    This time it was the real deal - I was (and still am) mega into this girl and I honestly don't think we'd have ended up together if I hadn't been able to experiment first with a relative stranger. In a weird way, it built up my confidence AND made me realise just how much I liked my friend. I mean, it wasn't even awkward when I had a huge nosebleed halfway through (I have very physical responses to emotionally intense situations).

    So now I'm in an incredible relationship that includes mindblowing sex, a great emotional connection and wonderful woman. Who says being a slut doesn't find you love...?

  38. My first lady love session was when I was 18 and she was 17 and still living at home. I was her manager at the movie theatre we both worked at and would often sneak off with her to make out behind the screens, at the top row, in the manager's office, EVERYWHERE....we couldn't keep our hands off each other. She and I both knew we had never done it with women, yet both of us had experience with men, so when the time was right...evidently while watching a movie in her bedroom....we went for it. It was sweet and we were both nervous, but it was fun. Definitely enjoyable but not mind blowing or particularly bad either. What was awful, however, was when her mom busted in on us "afterwards" and I was still lying half naked under her sheets. I played dead, it was my only defense, as her mom screamed "She better not be fucking queer! Get her out of here" and (thankfully) stormed out.
    That girl turned out to have a case of the crazies, but I'll never forget the night I both lost my lady virginity and almost got my ass kicked by a psychotic homophobe in a bathrobe.

  39. ya know what's kinda fucked up about my first time story? i was so locked into the hetero sex story (penisvagina intercourse is sex, everything else is messing around, lesbains scissor, cause, like, that's the next best thing, right?) that...
    i did not think we were having sex. uuuugh.
    we fingerbanged. in.a.sauna. it was awesome.
    and i didn't know i was having sex.
    but i've come to my senses now, in so many ways, so it's all good.

  40. Cowgirl was my first. I was her first lady. Neither of us had a clue. We had a hotel room in Niagara Falls and fucked really quick before we went to see the fireworks over the falls. We were both too nervous to really know what to do...we tried again later that night and it was so much better!

  41. My first time was pretty awful. I didn't lie about never having sex with a girl, per se, but I did make it seem as though I had more experience than I actually had. But the girl I was with and I had very different ideas about what felt good, and I couldn't really read her, nor could she read me. It was like having sex with a guy who doesn't understand the clit. I was thoroughly disappointed. She also had me fist her at that time, which was a combination of kind of scary and awesome, but neither of us came.

    While I really didn't enjoy sleeping with her (and honestly, I didn't really LIKE her all that much), the important thing for me was actually getting naked with a woman. I wanted to do that for so long, and I had avoided coming out for so many years, so that when it finally happened, it just felt so right. And I knew then that all these feelings about being gay were transformative, so I look at the experience as vital in my coming-out story.

  42. Re: Almond Cookie Girl - but how do you KNOW she's straight? Maybe she's bi. Won't somebody please think of the married bisexuals!?

    1. Seconded. I know two married bisexual girls, they definitely exist and hate that people write them off because they're married to men.

  43. I came home one night and she was in my bed....It was like 5am and I was Really Tired....she was high on organic printer fluid (no, you guys, I'm not kidding, she did that shit with my roommates.) She went down on me and she was Really good at it....and I was so tired I just kind of lay back and really...gave nothing in return. I still feel bad about that.

    We tried to date after that, but it came pretty clear that we were sexually into each other and great friends and in no way romantically inclined to each other. Oops.

  44. My first time was, like a lot of these stories, in a state of drunkeness. And I was engaged to a guy at the time. And she was seeing a friend of mine. But it illustrated a phenomenon that I was told about months before. Lesbians talk about having sex, talk about what a bad idea it is (as there are often complications such as other people), have sex, and then talk about what a bad idea it was to have sex. And then have sex again. But my first was wonderful in the, Oh-this-is-what-I-should-feel-during-sex way.

  45. My first time sucked, it was in a car with a very drunk bi-curious girl that I had met that same day and I just ended up fingerbanging her for like 5 minutes before she stated she wanted to leave. Talk about bursting a bubble I felt miserable for weeks after that but that didn't stop me. Needless to say a couple of partners later have brought me the best sexytimes I've ever had. It's all about practice faggettes (having feelings for your counterpart is a plus). If you don't succeed on your 1st,2nd or even 10th time don't give up you will find your rhythm and discover the awesomeness that is lesbo-sex.

  46. Just another queer with a husban checking in here to tell you that married does not eqaul straight! Bisexuals, pansexuals, pomosexuals of the world be recognised, please!

  47. My first time with a girl was probably only non-disastrous because I'd just spent 13 months banging the shit out of a guy. Not because it was a guy, just because I was (am) completely terrified of people, and I have yet to find a girl who is both confident enough to push through that and er, wants to. Luckily my boyfriend had infinite perseverance and by about 6 months in I was capable of having a make-out session that didn't freak me out so much I had to go directly to sex or go home.

    So I was at a party in the home of a man who is well known for throwing parties in which everybody ends up having a lot of sex. And we were all in formal gear. And I went off in search of the host's cat with a friend of mine (YES, WE WENT LOOKING FOR PUSSY, SERIOUSLY) and ended up, catless, having a D'n'M about our respective sex lives. Then we went back downstairs and cuddled awkwardly on a couch for about ten or fifteen minutes until I just went "so uh I don't suppose you want to make out?"

    and some time later she went "wanna go upstairs?"

    and I was on my period so we couldn't get too crazy, and I felt too awkward about the fact that I didn't know if I could come to let her try too hard in case she failed, but I managed to get her off so I count it as a win.

    actually, that was pretty much how my first time with a guy went, too, so I guess at least I'm consistent! except me and my boyfriend did not go looking for roosters before we fucked.

  48. My experience allows me to share with Ella, et al:

    1) Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT drink 12-13 bottles of ANY green bottled beer the first date. It makes for a bitter hangover, and is harder to have sex that first time due to said hangover. This also leads into: If said new person you are dating CAN handle that much beer, question yourself BEFORE sleeping with her. ;-)

    2) I am a gentleman...I always have been, it's in my blood. I'm very much the 50's polite styled person on a date...and it works, for me, at least. On dates, in my past (back before the lovely wife) I would literally ask a woman if I could kiss her. I did this because it made perfect sense to me to be this polite (holding open doors, etc., same thing)...and, it was a good thing, a very good thing. If you're with a woman who likes to feel special (some don't, I've found, who knew?), be polite - the worst that could come of it is that you get a bit of a giggle, but if she's into you you'll definitely get the kiss, and then the door is open. (Granted, this is pre-having kissed your date before stuff...LOL) Plus, you'll show you actually CARE. Big bonus points, in my book, is being with a woman that actually cares about YOU and not just your booty. -AA

  49. bushrangers. That's a classic!

  50. By the way those cookies are definitely vanilla kipferl. They are delicious German cookies! Close call on the recipe it's basically is all almond flour sugar and butter.

  51. I have had several firsts. My favorite was the first time I went down on my first girlfriend. (technically it was like the third time, but the first time that lasted any length of time at all. the other times were through saran wrap. that shit sucks.)

    It was candle-lit and romantic and fucking fun. I made her come so hard. As she was all bleary and relaxed and post-orgasmic, I was wide-eyed with surprise and incredibly pleased with my self. I was like "This changes EVERYTHING." The whole next day at work I was like, "Last night changes EVERYTHING."

    And it did. My first love (of pussy) will never fade.

  52. My first time was at 21, so I'd waited a long time for the right girl. I finally met her at college.

    We'd been together for about 3 months, I'd been inside her but my nerves and her respect for my boundaries meant my pussy was a no go zone.

    Anyway to cut a long story short, one evening she slowly pushed back my boundaries; I ended up blindfolded and tied to a chair. It was amazing and we had chinese food afterwards.

    It was almost unbearable hiding the fact I was a 21 year old virgin up until that point (she knew though), but I am still with my girl friend and I am so happy I waited.

    Sex with the right person will just come naturally.

  53. my first time was at 46. she said she'd 'do it' with me so i could experience it with a woman. i was grateful. i asked her if we could do it according to my fantasy of my first time and she said okay.

    it was basically me touching her and getting to experience that without the distraction of her touching me back. that happened later. it was tender, profound, and a gift.

    we 'didn't date' for about 3 months because she didn't want to get involved. so after much agonizing i realized i had to shake myself loose of my first (in my mind) girlfriend.

    it was hard, but a gift at the same time. i'm still grateful. since then i have had relationships with women who actually were interested.

    perfect first time, highly dysfunctional first relationship.

    life moves on.

  54. (Haha i was about to put my "real" interweb name on there and then...)
    Well, my first time, regarding yours, was a bit of the opposite.
    First i was f*cking old. 30! Yeah i know but i had had great sex with men before (imagining they were women) (what?).
    Well, anyway, when THAT first time finally happened, finally, my head was like a firework, i could almost actually see unicorns flying around and glitter pouring down from heaven and all.
    BUT the girl came to my house -we were on a "secret date" after having kissed and kissed and kissed at a party-, and she suddenly said: "OK so now let's get undressed because you know, that part is always tricky." > I was extremely disappointed. I like being undressed! But i thought "she knows". (Even though i wasn't so young anymore, i was still extremely stupid.)
    And then, we made love. Finally.
    AND she "wouldn't believe i had never made it before". With a woman i mean. AND i was offended as i couldn't believe she was saying this "for real".
    AND THEN she said she had never had *something* made to her before. That i was the first ever to do *that thing* to her. And she was a well known casanova girl by that time. So i assumed she was lying to me, and it made me sad that she could think i was so stupid i would believe her.
    Well, 5 years later we split up.
    5 years later i started (at last) exploring the vast, complex and rich lesbian sex world. And i realised: She said the truth.
    And i realised something else: So many girls look like they know a lot, or pretend they do, and so many... well... don't! I mean, you talk about toys and strap ons and things, and when you get to the playground, they go all shy and all! C'm'on!
    So that leads me to that question: How do you guess a girl is gonna be wild in bed / or shy / playful / or... just sleepy?
    Is there a way, some magic trick i still ignore?
    If you could come out with some of your great advice i live, i'd be extremely happy!

  55. 1) Has anyone ever been frustrated when people are shocked they've never had sex? Like when the health care "professionals" at the ob/gyn's office react with "Really? You've never had sex?". Or when people assume that since you've never had sex it must mean you are really religious. Such bullshit. Some of us, at 23, have never really been presented with opportunity...

    2) Even if you don't want to plan sex, negotiation about sex before hand is important - what you have and haven't done, whether or not to get tested for STIs (yes, ladies, woman to woman sexual transmission of disease is possible and happens far more often than we like to talk about), whether or not to use protection (it is a really good idea), how you like to be touched etc. (some of us like direct clitoral stimulation, some of us like indirect clitoral stimulation. Some of us REALLY LIKE penetration, some of us REALLY DON'T.) This can also help address the different levels of understanding/experience between partners, if there is one. Enables partners to have a better sense of what they are consenting to. Do this some time when you aren't going to have sex, stock up on the safe sex supplies and then wait until the "moment" come naturally. Less to be anxious about. More time to play!!!

    3)Thoughts on first time penetration with a woman vs first time penetration with a guy? Either hurt more/less and why? Did it even hurt for you (there are so many factors that effect whether or not it will hurt that there is no single answer to the "will it hurt?" question.)

  56. penetration with a woman doesn't hurt because her fingers are small and we would time it when i started to climax, so i would have a clitoral and vaginal orgasm... pretty cool, hehe. penetration with a guy took a ton of foreplay, and it hurt at first, then we tried a different position and it didn't hurt, but it wasn't doing anything for me. i think it turned me off actually and i wasn't able to orgasm. need a guy with more skills to time his penetration, but them he probably won't get to have his orgasm... most of the time, i'd rather do without penetration. i really like foreplay and I don't like sex unless i'm super horny. i guess i have a low sex drive.

  57. My first time was at 17, just a couple of months ago, with my actual girlfriend. She was a couple of years older than I, but she was a virgin either, althought she had some foreplay experience. I, in the other hand, was completely virgin... And when I say completely, I say COMPLETELY in all the extension of the word: I hadn't had sex with another girls, neither with guys (I realized that I was a lesbian after dating a guy for two weeks at my 15), not even fucking foreplay! The most sexual contact I had before that was with an (idiot) ex girlfriend of mine, who touched my boobs at the cinema once.

    But whatever, I was dating that pretty girl, and she was always, ajem, groping me, and I liked that, but I felt terribly guilty because I thought that we should wait, and blablabla, and I didn't planned losing my virginity with someone until, at least, one year of dating.

    And I was REALLY serious with that "one year" thing! But well... At the end we ended having sex at the third week. But it was worth it:
    We went to see some fireworks one night, and I went to her house after. We were in her room, her mother just left, and she went to my bed. It was the most awkward (and painful: her fingers weren't very gentle down there, and the scissoring part was a disaster) sex session ever. But it was beautiful, after a fireworks! The morning afrter I felt... A mix of guiltiness and desires of doing it again. After, I talked with her and she said me that she didn't considered it our first time because the awkwardness (wtf?).

    After the "first time that never was", and the "real, well done, first time", passed a week. She stayed at my house for two days, and (after literally begging to my mother) we shared my room and bed, and we had sex for 4 hours! It was great, we had a hell of fun, and after doing it we cuddled and talked almost all night long.

    Sincerely, I was very sceptic with certains aspects of lesbian sex (concretely the scissoring) but, although at first our scissoring was the lame thing ever, it got fucking great with practice (and now I love it).

    And well, that was my double-first time story. It may be the stereotypical teenage first-time, but I'm kinda proud of how it was.

  58. If you are a woman that has married a man, and vice versa, then you have presented yourself to the world as straight. End of story.

  59. So. At the ripe old age of 21 I have developed my dyke game to the eye contact, let's go into the bathroom and fuck level. It's got its pros and cons.

    But back when I thought I was bi, 16, in Texas, my (much) older boyfriend was a bartender at the nicest strip club in Dallas, with the hottest women you have ever seen in your life. One night I was there with my best friend, getting bought drinks and lap dances by all of the dirty old rich men who treated the club as their second home. The most gorgeous girl I'd ever seen was dancing on me, and we started making out (very much against the rules). At the end of the dance she led me to the parking lot, we got in my car, and she proceeded to fuck my brains out. I stuck my fingers inside her, had no idea what I was doing really, it was probably something akin to a hacksaw, though she flattered me with the appropriate moans and back arching. I really wish that I'd been a bit more experienced before I'd slept with this girl because to this day she's the sexiest girl that I've ever had the pleasure of getting down with.

    Cut to two years later, end of my freshman year of college in Vegas, where I'd moved with the aforementioned boyfriend. I break up with him and move in with this hot dyke latina rocker, and proceed to have mutually mind-blowing sex all summer long. Taught me everything I needed to know, including that I was in fact a big raging lesbian (something the stripper had called me out on as we exited my car).

    To the person that had asked how you can know what someone will be like in bed, the answer is, to get them in bed. There's really no other way to tell who is an absolute freak, and who is absolutely terrible. It's shocking, really, how different people's skills can be from what you'd assumed.

  60. There are so many first times for everything! agh! But my first ladylovesession was with my dearest friend, at a high school sleepover (i know, cliche). I was madly in love with her and it was the wake up call I needed to realize how super gay I am, so that was good. Only shame is that she's now straight and that I was in love with a boy at the time. Ah well, life goes on ;)

  61. to the person who insists married women are assumed to be straight, do you also think same sex couples are assumed to be gay? If so, where do bisexuals get to recognise our sexualities..?

    If not, you're placing too much importance on dick - if a woman fucks a man, she's straight, if a man fucks a man, he's gay - how is a person's sexuality defined solely by whether or not they sometimes fuck dick? Why not by whether or not they're into pussy... or both?

  62. @ Anonymous who said "If you are a woman that has married a man, and vice versa, then you have presented yourself to the world as straight. End of story. "

    Jane is straight when she is in town with John,
    She is gay when is in town with Judy,
    And she is asexual if she goes out on her own?

    And when is Jane bisexual, for you?
    Only when you see her with her hand on both John's and Judy's crotches at the same time?

    The thing is: Jane is bisexual (or this, or that) for herself, not for you.

    Today, tomorrow, in the grocery store, alone in her bed, with John in her bed, with Judy in her bed, when she's walking her dog, while she's taking an exam.

    I'm surprised when the same people who don't want to be assumed straight (when they're, say, on their own in a bar) assume others straight.
    Or those whose mere existence shows that there isn't only one sexuality insist there is only one... or, at the most, two.

  63. My first time wasn't much better, but I didn't lie to anyone. I just liked her SO MUCH, I was frozen like a deer in the headlights and when she finally touched me, I was just so nervous how she had done this before and I hadn't and omg her boobs were so big and what do I do with them? And I just really want her to like me and to cuddle with me everyday... communication was not my strong suit at the age of sixteen.

    My first girlfriend after that was five years older than me, it was several years later and she asked all sorts of questions and wasn't embarrassed about it at all! She taught me, eagerly, how to be a great lady lover. You can never go wrong asking questions.

  64. @ Anonymous who said "If you are a woman that has married a man, and vice versa, then you have presented yourself to the world as straight. End of story. "

    So... yeah, this is kind of an annoying statement, but sadly possibly some truth in it. I was married to a man, he needed a green card, I wanted kids. I NEVER claimed to be straight, although while married I remained monogamous (translate to celibate after the first four years). I was upfront about being bi (well, I'm not bi, but at the time I thought I was) and yet, despite my insistence, it was clear that everyone, including old girlfriends, now saw me as being straight.

    So, after divorce it was like having to come out all over again, even though I had never willingly put myself back in the closet.

    About first times...

    There was the first time, first time when I was fifteen and we were both virgins and we didn't know what we were doing, it felt like we were inventing the most wonderful thing in the world and it was easy and comfortable and wildly raunchy and good because we had no expectations or limits.

    There was the post marriage and post celibacy which was a whole different kettle of fish. After so many years I felt awkward and shy and incompetent. She fucked me and it was fabulous but I could barely return the favor, I was so stymied by my own sudden shyness, overcome by desire and inability at the same time. I went down on her but I knew I wasn't doing a great job. I actually sent her an email apologizing the next day.

    Happy to say that it got a lot better after that, we're still happily fucking, the letter of apology apparently made all the difference in her willingness to stick with me while I got my 'sea legs' again.

  65. I made it onto this site again!!! Ahhh I am so flattered, it's unbelievable (it's annaliese)
    I'm a little shy to talk about first times, but they're all a little awkward, are they not? :) what they should be, I suppose. I hope you all have a great thanksgiving.

  66. My first time was awful but I did manage to break up a 2 year relationship.
    Kinda a long story but I had a crush on L's girlfriend (N) 2 years earlier, and so did my brother. He used to talk about her all the time and one day I said "You're not the only one interested in her", and just to drive it home "and she's not interested in YOU anyway".
    So that was when I accidently came out to my family.
    So time passed and we realised that N was not a nice person (which is irrelevant but makes me feel better about it....).
    And then more time passed and I became interested in L, hormones etc. Slept with her, she didn't let me touch her because I was inexperienced and then 24hr later she "broke up" with me. Which I was sad about for another 24hrs then glad (but still felt rejected).
    Small towns.
    My brother and I still hang out heaps but lead relatively separate lives. We definitely have the same taste in women.


    "Is this ok?"
    "Can I touch you [wherever]?"
    "It would be great if you [fill in the blank]."

    etc. etc. etc. Don't forget consent. Women can sexually assault/rape other women. It happens more than we like to admit.

    Have fun and be safe!

  68. oh jesus. my first time. drunken make-out while salt water tubing turns into 'needing to take a shower' (together, duh, saves water) (better take off your bathing suit, to clean it better) to 'oh I'm drunk guess I'll have to sleep here' to her dad walking in on us, and sister...
    which ushered in the most psychotic relationship I've ever had with a person, true 'first-love' style. wouldn't have had it any other way.

  69. I was far too young(12) and the situation was crazy(bunks at conversion therapy). We were both desperate and in this really fucked up place that would scar us both for years to come. It was, on a physical level, terrible. We had no clue what we were doing. At all. But, it provided a point of realness and sanity in an impossibly messed up world, and I think it helped us survive.

  70. Like most everyone else my first time happened after considerable "social lubrication" (we were drunk). I had just turned 21 and we were at a party. She was married and bi and her husband knew I was a lesbo so he came up to me and was like my wife thinks you're hot. I was like WTF but that's kinda cool too. So I ended up flirting with her, and then going upstairs with her to be alone. She went down on me first and I thought I was going to explode from how amazing it felt.. Then I returned the favor and got off too. We stayed in bed for several hours together laughing and having naked fun. Only akward part was the next day. I was talking to one of my professors and she saw me. She walked up to us and handed me my belly button ring and leaned in and whispered this came out last night. I could feel my face turn bright, burning red. Which I'm sure just confirmed any uncertantiny in my professor's head about exactly what he was witnessing. Still it was totally worth it.

  71. I was in London on Spring Break (raucous! i know)
    I was visiting a friend studying abroad there for the semester, and it was her break as well, so we spent the week partying. One of the first nights out we met these two amazingly beautiful/crazy/awesome Brazilian girls. The Brazilians were lesbians, we later discovered, but only after they took my friend and I to some gay bars with them. My friend is straight, and I identified as straight but maaaaybe bi-curious, up until that point.
    The third night out we went to Lesbian Night at a club in London's soho district. I asked one of the Brazilian girls "how to get a girl to buy me a drink" She said, in a hilarious English-Portuguese accent to "go for the butchier ones, the prettier ones tend to be more standoffish." I approached the bar, and after 5 or 10 minutes of being ignored by both the bartender and the girls around me, I was about to throw in the towel.
    Then this amazing English girl approached me.
    We started talking and fast-forward two days later into the week, I'm head over heels for her.
    The night before I'm destined to fly back to the US, I leave with her back to her place for the night. She asked if I had ever been with a girl, I lied and said of course.
    Although there were lots of drugs and Redstripes involved, I remember that night to be the night of my life. Touching her, her skin against mine, incited feelings I never have felt before, and didn't think I could feel during sex (because I never got that with a guy before).
    Even the morning after was fantastic.
    The story sadly ends with me having to fly out the next, next day and contemplating missing my flight 100 times, wishing to stay in London for ever with her. We held each other and kissed on the Underground platform, watching at least 4 trains go by before I finally left.
    The entire 9-10 hour flight home she was all I could think about.

  72. Dang it i should have checked effing dykes before my wednesday night first time! I wasnt even at a gay bar, just a regular retro night at my favorite venue in minneapolis, and I started dancing with this beautiful, tall blonde girl, I later ended up at her place! It was hot, sexy and amazing, and when I took the bus home, Im pretty sure I smiled at everyone.

  73. My first time I was 19 and completely head over heels for my girlfriend of about 4 days.. She came to visit me and was experienced (very) and I was not but she never thought to ask if I was, I knew I wanted to have sex with her the moment I met her and she is how I realized I was ohsoverygay. She stayed at my house one night and we hadnt even kissed yet, but I told her she could sleep on my king size bed with me (which she'd done when we were just friends) and I knew I wanted to kiss her she wanted to kiss me and the lights went off she grabbed my face and our first kiss became our first time. I came, she came, then the sun came...

  74. My first times was incredible. WIth my girlfriend of 6 months - we were barely 14 - and so very 'in love'.
    It was such a slow progression over months from making out to having sex that i can't even remember the first time we did, just 1000 beautiful and innocent times in between.
    But I do remember the first time I took off her bra. We were at a sleepover party and everyone had fallen asleep, so we went to sleep on the back porch and lay holding each other. She rolled over to face me and i finally got the courage to unhook her bra. It was electric. That small small gesture was the most incredible thing in the world.
    I still think about that moment when people interrogate me about my sexuality. "but how do you KNOW" "you just haven't met the right guy, it'll happen" etc etc. It makes me laugh...

    Seriously? How do I know? I took off a girls bra 15 years ago and still remember how electric it was. All the guys I've ever shared my body with combined can't come close to that (thank goodness I gave THAT up!)

    Great post, Krista!! Thank you - you are saving me as I visit family this weekend!!!

  75. Just remembered that my (drunken) idea of asking people questions about themselves is "What are your allergies?" SHOOT ME.

  76. Holy fucking shit!! Completely off topic, but the girl in the picture from is the girl who made me accept that I'm bisexual. She had a crush on me, which led to me having the biggest crush of all time on her, and then I had to face up to my feelings. I never told her how I felt though, because I am far too awkward, and it was the first time I'd been in that kind of situation, and also neither of us were openly out...

    Damn, memories. Sorry for this pointless comment but seeing her here was just so shocking (and I'm now hoping that she doesn't read this blog and therefore won't see this comment but she probably does and will. Ah well) :P Brilliant post as usual!

  77. my first time was just recently and it was MIND BLOWINGLY AWESOME! I will admit i did some research since im a slight nerd and it really helped ( im such a nerd that when i was goin down on her i said " did you know that the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings which makes it the most sensitive part in the body? oh you didnt know? well let me show you ;) )

    ANYWAY advice is:

    most importantly: Dont overthink about what ur doing just go with the flow and youll have her going trust me ;)


    here's a good recipe for the cookies!

  79. I probably have the most awkward first time story ever. Like, ever. My openly bi friend (I'm calling her A) tagged me in a Facebook survey and said she had a crush on me. The comments section looked something like this:
    Me: oh hai...soooooo...whats up?
    A: WASSUP GUUUURL?????? we totally need to hang out so I can sex you
    A: and now its awkward because you don't know if I'm joking or not ;)
    Anyway, we made plans to hang out, so I went over her house and she told me she was going to teach me how to play poker. So we went up to her room and A was like "Okay here is how you play poker." And then I was like (being my semi-naive self) "but we don't have poker chips D:" and she was like "but we have clothes" *wiggles eyebrows*. So then we both ran out of clothes and A raised me like, 4 and lost big time and she texted a friend and asked what to do when you're playing strip poker and you run out of clothes and he said "trade sexual favors".
    Long story short - I lost my virginity to a girl in a game of strip poker.

  80. OH HEY GIRL!

    If you're ever in Philly, you must come to my place of work. It's a bakery AND an old-fashioned candy shop, and I am no straight girl. I'll hook you up with some gluten-free deliciousness!

  81. First time -- had my eye on a butch woman who had that sexy butch lope. We hung out some. I outed myself to her. She was acting pretty neutral about me, wasn't sure if she wanted to get involved with a bi girl (though I was a virgin with boys still at age 21).
    I showed her my garter belt. We got naked. That moment of feeling the inside of her was AMAZING.
    What she wanted was totally different from how I like to be touched. That's okay. Just listen, and don't feel you have to rush, either. You could keep just making out for weeks until you feel more confident about how to channel your desires. Anticipation is hot.

  82. To the bisexuals, pansexuals, and pomosexuals of the world, I'd just say that assuming most married-to-men women are straight is not a vast conspiracy concocted to keep you down; statistically the vast majority of married-to-men women ARE straight. I'm a dyke and lots of people assume I'm straight until I tell them otherwise, or they pick up some other signal. This is because straight people are the majority, and there's a good 90-97% chance that any given person you meet is straight. I don't think it's an unfair assumption to make about someone, or somehow prejudiced. If someone assumes you yourself are straight, correct them, by all means--but the vast majority of the time that assumption will be right.

  83. I don't really have a strict definition of sex, so there are various times that I sometimes consider my 'first'.

    My first 'first time' was at a 'straight' friend's 15th birthday party. She sat next to me all night and held my hand under the blanket when we watched a movie. When everyone put their sleeping bags on the floor, she insisted on being next to me, and once everyone was asleep we turned to face each other and started making out. It was very awkward and morning breath-y and we ended up with our hands down each other's pants, but it took her a few literal stabs-in-the-dark (or more like stabs-in-the-labia) before she actually managed to finger me. The next morning she had an identity crisis and stopped speaking to me and started throwing herself at guys for the next few months. She repeated this process (fuck me, freak out, go after a bunch of guys) for the next two years.

    My second 'first time' - I couldn't decide at the time whether or not I considered the previous experience a 'first time' - was with my first girlfriend, when I was 15. She was obsessed with horror movies, and whenever I stayed over at her house, she'd make me watch these disgusting gore flicks. However, the TV was conveniently positioned in front of her bed, so I quickly realized that I could avoid having to watch the film by making out with her. Even better, I could face the opposite way and drown out the sound of the film if I went down on her.

    My 'first time' where a) I definitely considered it 'sex' and b) I actually wanted to do it for the sake of it, not just to avoid watching a gory movie, was when I was 17. All-girl kinky foursome. Loved it. Each of us got a turn being the center of attention. I skipped my turn, though, because I was having body image woes. Still, it was a great experience!

    I firmly believe that it's not the first time that counts, it's the best. I remember all my 'first times', but not because they were first - just because I'm still relatively inexperienced, and find it unlikely that I'd just forget a sexual encounter. I honestly could not care less that my 'first time(s)' wasn't great. The 'first' thing is really nothing special to me. After all, it's practice that makes perfect!

  84. Coincidentally, I gave away my lady-virginity exactly three nights ago, and was with a virgin. I'm no expert, but.. from amateur to amateur...
    I've stayed at her house for the past week. The night before, we stayed up late looking at pictures from her childhood and talking about our families, and that day we had woken up early to ride her horse and take a long shower. My god, the tension in that shower. We pretty much knew we were having sex that night... I was fingering her and kind of looked down at her there, and said, can I.
    1) Its okay to be honest if you don't know what you're doing. I turned the light on slightly, told her I wanted to figure out what I was doing.
    2) Watch her face. It says subtle things. And faces are nice :)
    3) Rephrase your questions so that they're not an interruption. I mean you can say, do you like this here, or just say, here? The message gets across.
    4) Relax. Not knowing what to do isn't embarrassing, it's just how it is going to be.
    In conclusion, making mistakes together with someone is kind of romantic because at least it shows that you trust them enough to make those mistakes and work through them.

  85. I REFUSE to admit to my current girlfriend that she was technically my first. I had messed around a lot with females, inappropriate touching shit, but in my head, I never truly fucked a girl. I know this cause when I got her naked, it was awesome and suddenly I got terrified and dry mouthed and realized I never ate a girl out, or really finger fucked anyone.

    I also told the first girl I got handsy with that I had a history of women. No one knows the truth, and GODDAMN IT, NO ONE EVER WILL.

  86. I don't usually crush on straight women either! I don't get that whole thing. ANYWHO...I would just tell the other girl I was a virg. if it seemed like things were getting hot and heavy. Like, if you two are making out on a bed, say something cute like "I like you and I want you to know it's my first time doing this." This way she knows to take it easy and make it special. Relax, have fun and go with the flow. Don't think too much!

  87. Ahh first times. My first time, there was no doubt about it counting. But omigod it was horrible. It was my friends gf ( yea I know bad) who was then my girlfriend (yea I know...) It was her first and my first, but although I rocked her world I walked away injured. So yea my furst time but hey first times can go wrong or great. My best is what matters. I wasn't her first but I was her first girlfriend, and I didn't walk away in pain, I just went back for more ;) practice makes perfect I promise

  88. My first time was unromantic, uneventful, and disappointing. But I wouldn't have wanted to lose it any other way. I lost it to my camp counselor, who was 4 years older than me, in the back of a cabin with 15 other girls sleeping all of 10 yards away. I was in love with my counselor. It was hot. I had to bite her to keep from moaning. Our clothes were still mostly on. I didn't climax. But I loved it, because I had finally been with her. I really would never change anything about it. Like I was hot ;)

  89. I hate to say it, but I cant pinpoint my first time with a lady. It was with my first girlfriend and we started off pretty fast. You see I was out to everyone in my life but had yet to even kiss a girl, so I was in a hurry to try things. We started fooling around on our first date and things just kept rolling after that, kissing, touching, boobs! We had a lot of sex over the next 6 or 7 months, so I don't know the exact time we had "sex" for the first time, but I sure do remember the first time she made me come!

  90. The first night I had sex was also the first night I kissed someone. She was an international student at my college, and about 13 years my senior. She had never been with a woman, but had lots of experience with men, and had even been married once. I was a freshman, and until that night CONVINCED that I was asexual, destined to live a life of contented solitude. We couldn't have been more opposite.

    The night of our kiss was very ethereal. We were cuddling when I found myself thinking that I wanted to kiss her. I was struck by this because until that point I hadn't wanted to kiss anyone. She seemed to read my mind, and actually asked if I would kiss her. Our coupling was both natural and easy for me.

    Neither of us were drunk, we were both quite aware of what we were doing, and neither of us tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I remember that when I awoke the next morning I felt as though I couldn't fight being gay, despite my upbringing and hesitations. I knew myself.

    Ultimately we went our separate ways for various reasons (the main being she wanted us both to stay closeted forever. She would hardly sit next to me in public and constantly accused me of telling people or acting really gay on purpose).

    All that was almost 5 years ago; since then I've experienced a late-night makeout interrupted by a curious tow truck driver, great almost-sex at a Model UN conference, a brief affair with an ex-model who ditched her work 'cause she wanted to cut her hair off and have girly-sex, and, finally, over a year spent with the girl I love more than anything. It's crazy to think that I almost gave up all those other experiences for a woman who didn't want me to be honest about myself.

  91. Yes Virginia, there are married bisexual women out here. Through the magic of the intertoobz, I found another married bisexual woman who wanted to explore. She had a great rack, and I was amazed by her smooth, soft skin (so different than guys), and her curves. We were each other's first and it was great. I'm not bicurious anymore; I'm definitely bisexual.

  92. ugh...way before I realized I was gay, I was *gulp* in a drunken threesome, yes I was, and went down on a girl for the first time. It was short lived, and her aroma wasn't that, ah, pleasant. The second time was me, overtaken by lust, as awkward and fumbling as a puberty-stricken boy, with my best friend at the time, who is bicurious/bisexual (that's what she said (heh)) and had her period, so she refused to let me--ahem--go down south with my mouth.
    see, my experience had been with straight women until my current girlfriend. I didn't know there would ever be a Queer Charming, who would actually want to go down on ME, and like me. Two queer women together?!? I didn't think it would/could happen. But it did, I found someone who liked me for me--my humor, intellect, lifestyle, not to mention my tits and how I tasted...--it finally worked. I just about gave up on it all and was planning on eventually marrying a conservative christian man--uck. thank god, I was saved. for me, 3rd time was the charm...

  93. Not to sound like a hoe but this is my first GIRL sex story. Any ways, My first time went like this: we met cuz my ex boy friend introduced us. We broke up bc I am gay and he's kinda an idiot. Mostly cus I'm gay. Any ways so she's an army razed chick. She's beautiful. Any ways I met up with her on her fathers base. Hot right well it was. For a while. We get going it just kinda started happening. Touching kissing we ended up in Honistly i dont know who's place... But after she topped me. Not complaining. So it was all going great our instincts were on it was hot. Suddenly this guy walks in( maybe 23) we where 18 and 19 at the time. But she doesn't stop like at all not even a flinch. She knows him obviously cus he mounted her while she was on top of me. WTF?! Now I'm stunned and stuck under two ppl watching her. I was sooooo confused. No Idea what I should have done. Now I e the place was his

  94. My "first time" was with my best friend at the time, in high school. Every weekend during that summer we alternated houses. One weekend we were at her house watching movies and she started groping me. We then started making out EVERY night we were together. We started to feel each other up over the next few weeks and finally after dying, from what I would imagine guys feel with "blue balls" we fucked like bunnies! It was amazing!
    We continued to "date" off and on thru high school. I messed around with a few other lesbians but never went all the way with them.
    I then got married to a very douchie douche bag. And told him I wasn't sure I was really in to dudes and he was all " you know you just need a good dicking" and ended up staying married and hating sex, wishing he was a girl or faking it and doing it myself later. We then got divorced well it was just this year that we got divorced.
    To my girlfriends happiness and amazing skills I now love having sex and all that fun shit.

  95. My first time was with a woman I was in love with who lived quite a distance away from me. I visited for three days, and for three days, we had almost nonstop sex. The few times we left the house, we couldn't wait to get back and close the door and rip off each other's clothes again. It was amazing, and I'd never felt so comfortable with someone else like I was at that moment.

  96. so my first time! my first time! was with a girl, thank jesus buddha, shite. and i barely remember it, i was probably pretty stoned, but I remember it was so much fun and she was so sweet cause it wasn't her first time. It was totally all rainbow starbursts and fireworks and a million suns rising all at once. we were friends before we dated, so that helped too bc the comfort level was high. I would never do it with anyone I didn't feel comfortable with now, though I have in the past. I'm akward as fuck too, but now I do put those cards on the table face fucking up bc really I don't wanna waste my time if we don't want the same thing here bc you're hot and please please me but if you don't wanna finish your bev and peace. is that mean? depends, but at least its honest.

  97. Those looks? Those looks HAPPEN. They are AWESOME.

    The unfortunate part is trying to convert them into actual sex. But yeah, they do happen, and they can lead to some seriously hot sex.

  98. I honestly dont see the point in bothering about "classification" as a bi/straight when a woman is married to a man and still has sexual tendencies with women. Why does it even fucking matter? We all like vaginas do they.

    I would think lesbians would be the least judgmental considering we ALL have been judged

  99. the first time i ever kissed a girl i was buried deep in the closet. i was doing laundry at my dorm, and there was a girl i knew from another dorm doing her laundry. she was really hot and i couldn't stop sneaking peeks at her. out of nowhere she starts staring at me and i blushed and looked away. she came right up to me and starting kissing me. it was so crazy, like a freaking movie. too bad i was so closeted, that after making out for a minute or two, i grabbed my clothes and ran out, never talking to her again. now that i'm out and have been for years, those scenarios never happen. lol

  100. so i knew i was gay or bi and when i was 19, i even got a girlfriend, she was older like 24... i lied to her and told her i had dated other girls, but never had sex with her because i was scared she would figure out i had lied, pretty dumb.
    we broke up, i started dating a guy and 2 years later i had a huge crush on my super gay, super cute co worker, she knew i was bi, we hung out a lot developed serious crushes... and so eventually one night we ended up having sex, she assumed i had been with a girl before and i got the hang of things pretty quick, it was way fun... years later we are still friends at some point i told her she was my first and now she likes to take credit for my gay-ness.

  101. My first time with a woman, was interesting as well. Sadly it wasn't as romantic as I wanted it to be. Then again, it was our first date, my birthday and on top of that we were in a car... It wasnt our fault, she lived out of town, drove 4hrs to see me and was leaving to head home that same night. Did i mention we did it in the middle of the day and in the parking lot of centrum near my school? But all in all i wasn't able to make her orgasm, it was my first time! what do you expect? even though things did get pretty hot and heavy while we were messing around in the front seats, it's completely different when you get to that point where you're about to have your way with a woman your first time. But all that aside, i think it all just takes practice and getting to know your partner's body very well. Let's just say, I have no problems getting her to make her O face for me anymore ;)

  102. For some reason, your cookie story reminded me of my youth group leader in middle school. Anna was 23 years old and fresh out of college. She had a narrow face and a big nose. She shouldn't have been beautiful. She was anyway. She got the church to offer vegan options and use fair trade coffee. She saw God in the sound of water, the sillouette of mountains, the turning of the leaves. She believed God loved everyone, and everyone got to go to heaven eventually. She called God "creator" instead of "father," because "father" was misogonistic and alienated people whose dads had been abusive or absent. She had short hair and thick rimmed glasses and a voice like an angel. Her only flaw was her husband. He taught elementary school special education and wanted to let their future children choose their own beliefs. He was (also) vegan and read feminist literature. I thought he was the worlds biggest douchebag. Oh, and his muscular, 0% body fat arms were stupid looking.

  103. Mmmmm... I was in one of those, not recommended for safety reasons, long distance internet relationships... she showed up at the local airport, we went to a hotel and pretty much stayed inside for a week until she went home... we both learned a lot that week, including: there are some place sthat you should never put strawberries... as they will cause a yeast infection.... and after a bottle of wine and 5 mind blowing orgasisms... no matter how well intentioned you are... you won't be retrieving strawberries, no matter where they are, or how bad you want to get them back :-) And I also learned... yup... I'm gay... girls is much more fun then boys.

  104. Reading these has made me realize my currently 8YO daughter will probably be having sexy times way earlier than I want her to. Is it horrible that I'm partly hoping she's also gay so I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant? I'm just hoping she doesn't have sex in my bed. *sigh*

  105. i was 18, my gf was 20 and definitely had more experience (meaning she actually had some) and was so hot- tattooed, pierced, older- everything i was not. we went on a date to a really big park near my house to get lost... ehem, i love parks.... ;) we pretended to walk around for all of 30 minutes and the next thing i know we're laying on a gravel path making out with my skirt around my waist...........we run back to my car for some more cushioning where she proceeds to go down on me, and i'll tell you I was truly terrified but so turned on at the same time. it was awesome and terrifying all at the same time.

  106. Ohhhhhmigod.

    Had been making out with this amazing hot girl for a week, wanted to wait a little longer before I lost my lady cherry, but we both got blackout drunk and did it. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT.

    The very next day we had sex like, eight times to erase the non-memory of the night before.

    It's a couple years later, we're still together, and I'm probably gonna marry her.

  107. First time I was with someone who was experienced and she knew I wasn't. So I kept waiting for her to take the lead. Turns out she's a "bottom" and kept waiting for me to take charge. Needless to say, it kind of fell flat.

    Second time was a one-night-stand, so we didn't know much about each other.

    I'm hoping that the third time will be a charm...

  108. My first time having sex with a girl was after I had graduated from high school. I was nineteen. Actually it was only a year ago (i blush..)
    She (we will call her M) and I had gone to high school together when neither of us were out of the closet. However, we both knew the other was gay and we had the biggest crushes on each other.
    Fast forward a year from that and we were best friends. Both recently out of the closet and luh-uh-uhving it. Anyway. She had a crush on one of our friends (lets call her K). Now thissss girl is gayer than the fourth of july, but she will never admit it. I had a crush on M's best friend, G.
    So the four of us are hanging out. Taking shots. G goes to bed with a boy who I brought to hang out (sigh. forever alone...). K went home to her boyfriend.
    M and I continued to drink and ended up in the shower.
    I have never had such bruises.
    Shower sex in a small shower is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to make happen.
    And I was drunk. We were both drunk.
    I wish I could say that I was sober enough to appreciate the experience, but alas... Vodka, right?
    M and I are still friends, she eventually got with K, I eventually had a one night stand with G. We all ended up happy.

  109. 3 girls ran away from me when they found out I was a virgin. Ha yeah so its sucks. And My first time finally was kinda super awkward and weird. And that ended up being with my would be first girlfriend. And even though my choice on who to lose it to ended up being a large mistake. I will say my first GF helped me learn about my body and become comfortable with sex and those kinds of desires. No matter how shitty the relationship ended. Whos first relationship with a girl doesnt end a bit shitty any way? But yeah. I told everyone and it kinda sucked but it happened eventually.

  110. My first time was at 16, with my very first girlfriend who I'd been dating for a little over a month. She spent the night, a good part of which we spent making out on my bedroom floor. I don't recall ever making a conscious decision to have just happened. I think I actually said "wait, did we just have sex?" afterwards. It wasn't particularly memorable and neither of us came, but I was still smug as fuck the next day. Hah!

  111. One of my closest friends was kind of in love with me - and I thought she was pretty hot. She came to visit me and we had the most unplannedly romantic weekend together - outdoors ice-skating, dinner, a play, then gay clubbing, coming home early to watch movies in bed and staying in bed all of the next day. During this next day...I can't even remember how it started. We've always been fairly touchy-feely, and we'd made out before. At some point the stroking led to kissing which led to fingering and one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had. It was weird - I've had some great sex with boys, but it had never had this odd dreamy quality of being completely unaware of anything except a single sensation making me feel completely high, which seemed to carry on forever..I'm lucky my flatmates were out because I was ridiculously loud. Then it was my turn, and I made her come - I have no idea if my fingers worked the same magic on her, but she seemed to enjoy it.

    Sad thing was straight after all this magic, all I wanted to do was roll over and ignore her. I didn't want to be close to her. I knew she was far more into me than I was her and I was immediately filled with guilt, and resentment towards her for feeling guilty, and I proceeded to ignore what had happened between us in the hopes that she would 'get the message'. I am an asshole sometimes.



  113. The house I shared with about a hundred other college students threw a party at least once a week. Sometimes I saw this girl around that I had met at a coffee shop a year prior when we had found our way into a conversation about Judith Butler and Wendy Brown that was a bit too long for two strangers. I had left a bit enamored, so when she started hanging around our house a year later (occasionally getting a bit sloppy with some girl on the dance floor) I noticed. One night, I was having a "dance off" with a male friend that quickly and unexpectedly turned grindy and gropey and sweaty and I was not so down. As he was squirming and I was trying to maintain a distance she caught my eye and flashed me a I-know-you-don't-want-to-be-doing-that-you-really-should-just-come-over-here look. So I told him that I had to go the ladies room as nicely as I could, waited in the hall for about a total of 2 seconds, and then went right back in to ask her what her name was. Luckily, Rhianna was playing so we didn't have to say much from there, and when she sang along to "I might be bad but I'm perfectly good at it" I hadn't ever seen anything more adorable and I couldn't stop myself and kissed her as hard as I could. According to my itunes playcount, I have since listened to that song 1960 times. I was hooked. After an hour of more sloppy, embarrassing and incredibly hot make-out/dancing/top-40 lip syncing performances, it was so clear to my two friends what was about to happen that my friend offered me her car keys to use her backseat in case my roommate was sleeping. (Still think it was the cutest gesture ever). Luckily, this girl invited me back to her apartment so I didn't need to use my friend's massive key chain that I stuffed into my boots or reveal how badly I wanted to get down. When we did get to her place, I was so nervous + awkward that I started telling her all about the woodland scene that was printed on the Christmas-themed socks that I happened to be wearing under my boots. "And then there's this deer right next to the elves house..." All she said was " should probably take those off." So other things started to come off as well and eventually she asked me what I wanted her to do. I stammered back something like an "uhhh" and she said "don't tell me you haven't done this before." Of course, I reassured her that I had totally done this before but after a few awkward direction-less minutes that were frustrating for all parties, I confessed. It took her a few months to believe me, but, somehow, we're still listening to Rihanna way too loud only now we're having amazing sex (with plenty of direction) for hours on end. "There's no way I'm turning back"-R

  114. The first time I had sex, it was with a guy, I was 16, and I just wanted to get it over with so I wouldn't be a virgin anymore. I was breaking out of my nerd shell. I had a lot of sex with guys in high school and college...a LOT. I was always kind of bored and I thought I just wasn't wired the same as other people or maybe the movies were making it up and everyone felt it was kind of boring. Weren't there all those jokes about women being "pestered by" their husbands?

    Then in grad school I had a crush on a girl I worked with on campus. She was round and soft and sporty and boyish and curvy and nerdy, all at once, and I was in lust.

    I was also married. To a guy. He encouraged me to tell her how I felt, being a feminist and pro-gay and a modern kind of guy, so I did.

    There was so much chemistry but nothing was happening. So one night I just *hung around* wearing my shorts with my legs in her lap, and I was running this ice cube over my neck because it was summer in the south and so hot. And finally she touched me. In a way that could not be misinterpreted.

    We had sex that night. It was soft and hard and wet and fun and loud and everything all at once. I had an orgasm for the first time in my life. Several, in fact. And found out I am what is called a "squirter." OHHH, so THAT'S what everyone's been going on about! I get it now!

    So I walked across campus in the early morning light, certain everyone was staring at me and could *tell* I'd just had sex with a girl. I just knew the gay was beaming out of my pores.

    I went home and told my husband I was gay and he had to move out. (Sounds cold, but I was employed on campus in a live-in position and I couldn't move out, so he had to.)
    And I've never looked back.

    talk about fantastic taste...

  116. IS there such a thing as a successful first sex? Frankly, the first several first sexes were terrible (maybe they wouldn't have been if they'd been with the same people, but that's another tale).
    The very first one was at summer camp. I sneaked into her cabin and we awkwardly fingered for about five minutes and it was WEIRD and we never did it again. I don't think we ever even kissed, although there was a lot of passing pushpins back and forth between our mouths, and cuddling...

    We thought we were being so stealth... I cannot imagine what the reality must have been. Probably something that would make me dig a hole, curl up in it, and silently die of embarrassment.

  117. I'm a man and I don't know what's wrong with me ! But I love watching and reading about lesbian girls.It really turns me on.I don't know why.Can anyone help me understand my self,please?

  118. I'm bi (mostly gay), in my late 20s, living in semi-rural China. yeah not the best place to be queer, but good in other ways...
    Anyway, I don't have a "first" with a woman (yet!), and have only one with a man. But I've been feeling mega reassured reading other ppls' comments about their first times, how old they were, when/where/how, etc.

    Really glad to have found this blog & am enjoying reading it!! I need more gay in my life than exists here. ah well. Anyway, thank you.

  119. We were watching "Daria" and got bored. She was 19, I was 20. I asked her if she wanted to try sex (she is the dykiest dyke ever, but we were both virgins), and she said yes. We undressed each other and went at it... And we were both TERRIBLE. At one point, her roommate's friend Sean knocked on her window and I screamed. At one point, she tried to STAND on the bed.

    But the second time was amazing. Somehow, overnight, we became really really good at sex. That's an inspirational tale right there.

  120. My first time was amazing BECAUSE i was so embarrassingly honest about my lack of experience. I actually kissed all the way down her stomach, got to her clit, and popped back up with this expression on my face: >:O ahhhhh!

    I freaked out and said, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. WHAT IF I CAN'T DO IT!?" Just a little bit of reassurance, some laughter, and absolutely no pressure helped me get over my fear and now I couldn't be happier then when I'm going down on a woman. It seems like a mood killer but it is so important to be honest and to always, always ASK. The worst that could happen? She says "no" and you get to stop worrying about whether or not she wants you to be making a move. you can probably keep having a hot makeout sesh, too. you might feel better if you ask her what she is thinking/feeling when you guys AREN'T making out, "so, do you think you want to get it on sometime? how do you like to have sex? how can i know you want it?"

    talk it out ladies! and good luck :)

  121. first time I kissed a girl I was 15 drunk at a house party and was slumped on a chair with my head hanging over the back of said chair, and she came up behind me and kissed me upside down, it was hot and turned me on, but it was infront of everyone at the party and the next day I was embarrassed about it and wasn't out the closet, where as she was openly bisexual, so I decided to tell everyone that she kissed me after I'd passed out, and I still feel horrible for spreading that rumour.

    First time I had sex with a woman was it happens the same girl. After leaving school, I went travelling and working for a year, before heading off to university. I got to uni and still wasn't out the closet, even though I knew I was gay or at least bisexual. So being the logical thinker that I was, I decided to spend my first 1 year of Uni, sleeping with as many boys as I could, then as many girls as I could and decide which one I liked more. Well I only had to sleep with one girl to know my preference. All I really remember about the experience was it was great, I was nervous, she was nervous but more confident, I'd never really had an orgasm before during intercourse, and all i remember was having this feeling build up inside and I thought it was because I really needed the loo and didn't want to wet the bed, and I couldn't enjoy the sex as I was so worried about everything. But now I've learnt there's no point being so worried just enjoy the moment. it took until my first steady girlfriend to totally understand, relax and enjoy sex, and by god do I enjoy sex!! It also took me a couple of girlfriends to really understand and it may sound stupid, but sex is not only better with someone you have feelings for, but also someone you fancy the pants off of.

  122. omg. you have to be talking about the sicilian couple in andersonville. pastiche something natalina was the place. everyone i knew had a crush on either the husband or the wife. i talked to her for an hour once! a whole hour! a whole, torturous/sublime hour! if it's not that bakery, we led parallel lives for a moment... sigh!

  123. wow dramatic article about the pastry shop woman here:

    she sounds crazy, in a mostly awesome way. also, stunning pic here:

  124. I was 17 when I had my first. *Okay, so maybe I'm still 17.* She was (is) 21.

    Anyway, we talked for a year before we ever started dating. (Had the love and all that snazz). And then before I would have sex with her, I had her start masturbating first because she didn't and was kinda closed off from herself. She'd only let one other girl touch her and she was a mean. Gave her body issues and made my lovely feel ashamed. I didn't think it was fair for her to offer me something so sacred when she wouldn't take it herself.

    So, the actual sex (when it FINALLY happened, I thought I was gunna die) was really sweet (and on a bench at the sunset). God, I sound like a cheesy movie.

    Anywhoooo. The best part, I taught her how to please herself! She learned how to squirt from it :D I felt (and still feel) like a million bucks.


    I'm a 19 going on 20 from Sweden (which is a pretty liberal country when it comes to rainbowie things).

    One day, some 6-7 years ago, a homo dude and a lezzie from RFSL (The Swedish federation for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans rights) came to our school to talk about the things they talk about - HBTQ-peoples rights.
    That day (and that day only) the school turned in to a "I'm a bisexual girl"-fiesta. ALL the girls were SO bi. Truth was, I felt I was the only one who truly felt drawn to girls (except my best friend at the time, who came out to me years later. Who knew!).

    I'd only kissed boys, and friend-kissed my buddies - but had a M-A-J-O-R crush on my team mate from my ice hockey team, and before that a crush on my soccer teams goalie (already had a thing for boyish girls), so there weren't a doubt in my mind I liked girls - too, I thought.

    Dumdidi, tralala - some years passed and I had boyfriends, but the relationships almost ended before they begun. Easily bored, haha.

    Now to the interesting part: my first time.
    I was 16, partially "in the closet" since there was a lack of interesting females in my surroundings, and had a boyfriend. Then one day I was sitting at a friends house checking her yearbook, I spotted one interesting female. SO mega butch, "I EAT PUSSY" practically printed in her forehead, and 4 years older than me. Since I'm kind of a spontaneous 'lil retard, then with homo-hormones raging, I found her number on the net, texted her ("You're fucking hot", basically), and waited for a response. Took a couple minutes. Turned out she was a dyke, knew the older lesbo girls in my hockey team (in fact, one of my team mates was dating her older sister), and.. Yeah.

    I dumped my boyfriend the day after, with the answer "I like girls" to the "Why?".

    Two days later, at Halloween, me and a classmate (who was super-religious, and going my direction) met up with this fucking hot girl (dressed up as Jesus, HAH. Awkward moment, since the religious friend obviously understood what we were up to - TENSION MY FRIENDS, TENSION. She soon left.). I asked how many people there were at her party, and she said "None. I told them to leave, 'cuz you're coming." - I.TOTALLY.FREAKED.
    Me. Alone. With THIS woman?!

    Went up to her place, sat on the sofa, "watched TV" (YEAH RIGHT, I was so motherfuckinginsanelyfuckingAAAAAAHnervous I couldn't focus on anything but my pulse being CRAZY fast).
    She told me to sit in her lap. I did.
    She looked at me closely. I could feel her breath.
    She leaned forward. I kissed her.
    BOOOOOOOOM - I turned MEGA GAY in 0,0002 sec.
    Then she fucked me (unfortunately she was a so called stone butch - no touching her). It was rough. Hot. Weird. Short-lasting, since I was going home within 30 minutes.

    As I left her apartment, I was late for my ride home with my parents so I ran, with only one thing in my mind - "I smell like pussy, OMGOMGOMGOMG!".
    But once in the car, I was smiling like a dumb-ass.

    1. loved you're story giggled so much at "0,0002 sec". can't wait to visit sweden