Sunday, April 10, 2011

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other

[via womenreading]


¡Hola lesbianas!

Thanks for waiting for my slow ass.
[via urbanpunx]
My mom is gone.  

I rode the train with her to the airport at 3:45 in the morning to catch her 6:30 a.m. flight. 

After I dropped her at her gate and got back on the train, I was cranky, exhausted, and really, really ready to snap.

It was 5 in the morning on the packed Blue Line train back into the city.
I scowled as the grey underground flashed by, thinking of all the ways the visit could have gone better.  

It was a good trip, especially for us...but I should have tried harder.  


I should have had answers ready when fucked-up things were said.


I should be better at this by now.  


I shouldn't feel so much like a furious teenager.  

Should've, should've, should've.
(by Irwin Barbé)
The man sitting next to me stirred from under his hood.  
Studied my ashen face.

He drew a paper bag out of his canvas coat and extended it towards me.

"You look like you could use a drink," he said.
(via emmana)
The man was a clairvoyant.

I looked in the battered paper bag.  
It was vodka.

"Got strawberries, too," he said, randomly producing a plastic container of fat red berries from a backpack.  



His hands were torn up, and his nails were filthy.
He popped a strawberry into his mouth, took a swig of vodka, winked, and passed it to me.  


5 a.m., folks.

We can talk about Mom's visit some other time, but all y'allfags really need to know is: 

I definitely took that drink.
[via beartrapper]
But! Speaking at Yale was pretty much the funnest ever. 

Apparently, Yale is known as the Gay Ivy.  

Holy, holy shit, you guys.  
[hahahaha thanks Mariana]
I was sitting at this coffee shop called the Book Trader getting fucking whiplash from watching all the adorable queers mincing off to class.

I met the women's rugby team. 

I can basically die happy now.  
[thanks Yalemosexuals]
*Fun Fact!*There's a set of Australian twins on the team.  
Um.

I met tons of queer kids. 
Bois, boys, femmes, sporty dykes, transmen, lil' fags, smarty pants grad student queers in Divinity school, you name it.  

All using $10 words where a $1 word would have sufficed, while drunk, over beers after the reading.


If you happen to be clever, able to afford it, or at least able to get your claws on a scholarship...jesus christ, go to Yale.  

I had a blast.  
The faggotry! 
Now
It's a good thing we've all had time to rest our brains a bit, 'cause it's time for a...

DYKE STYLE UPDATE!!!!! 


OMG OMG OMG.

It's finally Spring, faggettes.


What does Spring mean? 

Spring means all the lezzers take off their sweatpants, press "Pause" on the scratched-up DVD of Elizabeth, and start winding fresh grip tape onto their bike handlebars.  
[via hellofromwhereyouwanttobe]
Spring means heads get buzzed.  Summer haircuts get clipped into place.

A new six-pack of white ribbed tank tops gets tossed in the shopping cart.  


We start to see grinning dykes carrying bags of charcoal on their shoulders, wending their way to backyard BBQ parties. 
[via findingcharlie]
Hats come off. 

Suddenly, the bundled up, goose-down blob of huddled human misery that walks a pit bull outside your window each morning molts into an adorable baby dyke who smirks and says, "He won't bite, will ya, Chaz?" when you bump into her on the sidewalk.  
[via fuckyeahlezbians]
Girls put on sundresses.  

The wind caresses bare legs and shy toes peep out of flip-flops, blinking in the sudden sun.  
[via imjust-me]
Motherfuckin' Spring!

We need to be ready.


Spring is mating season.  
Everyone's happy, everyone's getting enough vitamin D, and everyone's ready to shed layers and layers of clothing.  

Perfect.
[ viasingintoyourear]
But sometimes, despite all our efforts, it's still really hard to tell who's gay.  

Sometimes, we need more clues than just simple, imperfect gaydar giveaways, like "fedoras" or "studded belts."
[via fuckyeahftmsofcolor]
We need a generality.  


Something a liiiiiitle more all-encompassing, to help us ease back into warm weather dyke-watching.

That's where asymmetry comes in.

A whole category to chew on!

Asymmetry, in case you failed math, means a lack of symmetry.

And symmetry is when things look the same on both sides.
What does this have to do with dykes?

Fucking plenty.

[via inkdgirls]
Lesbians like asymmetry. 

Astute reader Sara W. asked if I'd ever noticed this, and I actually dropped my phone on the bus in shock, horrified that we'd never talked about this unique carpet-munching phenomenon!

Asymmetry. An unbalanced, uneven look.

A.k.a. an easy, finger-lickin' good way to suss out homosexuelles.
[via suicidegirls]
Let's talk asymmetry.

Lesbians have loved asymmetry since matriarchal societies were rocking the cradle of civilization.

Amazon warriors were rumored to live exclusively with other women, only sleeping with male sex slaves once or twice a year to prevent the dying-off of their tribes. 
Cool.

They couldn't only have been having sex a couple of times a year, because that would suck, so my entirely scientific hypothesis is that Amazons must have been having lots of glorious dyke sex with each other. 

The first lesbian separatists. 

Anyway!  Stop thinking about sweaty hot Amazonian sex.  
No!


The point of this is that Amazons reportedly cut or burned off their right breasts in order to be more proficient with their bows and spears. 


The dawn of asymmetry.


Trend-setters!
Asymmetry, as you can see from this totally accurate representation of obviously lesbian Amazonian women, has been with us, as a people, for a long-ass time. 

And it just don't die.


Lesbians have upheld the fine tradition of asymmetrical style ever since.


Nowadays, first and foremost, there's hair.  
[via wehearthair]
Dykes, with their dyke haircuts, absolutely. love. to have hair that's longer on one side than it is on the other.

[by Kay]
It started with the unfortunate bi-level haircut, which terrorized the 80's and 90's:



and then swept across lesbian populations like wildfire, giving us this: 
[via modelmayhem]
and this: 
[via shesbackthesuicidalmaniac]
and this:
[via poorsara]
Hair that's not the same on both sides. 

Asymmetrical hair.
[tender forever]


Next up, we have the always-popular, never gonna die belt buckle on the side.


[Shannon Blowtorch]
Always a style option for the bois, who love belts with an unholy love, the side belt buckle offers a...


***OMFG RARE FEMME-SPOTTING TIP!!!***

This is something that lots of femmes do.  


Buckle their belts on the side of the hip.  

[michelle g.]
I very rarely see straight girls do this, and I'm not entirely sure why. 

Sluts, when I was a baby dyke having gaydar troubles of my own, this is actually the first thing Tawnya told me to watch out for when searching for 'mos.
[via newskinn]
I can't believe I never shared.  
Selfishness!

The side belt buckle.  


So asymmetrical.  
So gay.
But there's more.

What about side lip piercings?  


Lip piercings, as we've already talked about, are a lovely, easy indication that somebody's got a serious oral fixation.
[queerbrownxx]


Add an asymmetrical side placement of a lip piercing, and gaydar points go through the damn roof.
(via diaphram)


You see a side lip piercing on a girl, there's something going on with her.  

And that "something" is usually a love for labia.
[via veganomoly]


What about that old throwback: the one earring?  

Lesbians love to wear just one earring.  

Whether it's a stud wearing a stud earring, your women's studies professor with a strange, expensively-beaded ear bauble, or an arty chick wearing one long, dangly feather...we dykes use our ears to do our filthy advertisement work.

One earring = lesbian.  
(via dodenakker)
Or at least artistic and bi-curious.
We can work with that.


I could go on.  
Bike messenger bags.  Wallet chains.
[via solokidd]
Always with one thing drawing the eye; upsetting the balance.  


Sooo...what's up with this?

Well. 
I dunno.
 But here's my theory:


Human brains naturally want things to look symmetrical.

Very few things in nature are not symmetrical - t
hink trees, plants, snowflakes, animal markings, human limbs.  
Nature wants to be in balance.  

That's why asymmetry is seen as deviant. 

Asymmetry stands out.

And who is deviant?  Who stands out?

How 'bout...queers?
[via omfglauraa]


Across the board, every culture in the world finds symmetry beautiful and asymmetry startling. 


Our genes urge us to find mates with symmetrical features, so we can continue passing on genes with symmetrically-formed carriers who will be a good bet for passing on their genes.

But while I was breaking my brain open, trying to figure out why dykes like asymmetry so much, CJ just laughed and said that if your sex isn't about reproduction, it doesn't matter if your mate is symmetrical.

My god.
The brains on that girl.

CJ's right!


We're advertising
We're fucking advertising!
[viakatey-pants]
We want to stand out from the straight gene pool; to advertise with our hair and belt buckles and lip piercings: 


"Attention ladies: You won't be having reproductive sex with me." 

Awesome.


Now, obviously, not all lovers of asymmetry are gay.  


Certainly not.
Some people just like the quirkiness of one-sidedness.  

[via nikkigsblog]
But lesbians like asymmetry a lot more than the straights.  


Asymmetry.  


Kiiiiind of a dyke thing.
[via inkdgirls]
Okwhoarewekidding it's totally a dyke thing.

85 comments:

  1. Dykes even have asymmetrical brains. It's motherfucking SCIENCE!

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2453705/?tool=pmcentrez

    ReplyDelete
  2. "If your sex isn't about reproduction, it doesn't matter if your mate is symmetrical.

    We're fucking advertising!"

    Ingenious

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm pretty symmetrical. I keep my piercings either balanced or centred, same with my ink (currently, at least.)

    HOWEVER: There's quirks.

    My girlfriend has the one earring, a head tattoo on only one side, and usually carries a messanger bag.

    I have different earrings in my second lobe piercings, and my hair is definitely longer on one side.
    I wear my rings on one hand, too.

    Uhm.. Bags..

    =/ Dunno what else to say.
    I missed you. :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have blown my mind across the room. Asymmetry! It makes so much sense!

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  5. not going to lie - when i saw the photo of tender forever thrown in there, i squealed.

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  6. you are brilliant. as soon as i saw the word asymmetry my brain went "oh my god, yes!"

    so true...

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  7. SO HAPPY that you came to Yale and enjoyed your time with us :)

    And asymmetry = win. You're so right.

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  8. Fantastic post, Krista! So artsy, yay! And thanks for mentioning my friends the Kelley twins!

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  9. I was so excited when I read the rugby bit! The Yale team came to New Orleans (where I live) to play in the Mardi Gras tournament (where I was in attendance), and I MET THEM. It makes me feel a very six-degrees-of-separation sort of connection to your blog. *swoon*

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  10. it amazes me that i am totally guilty of every single stereotype you listed. awesome.

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  11. 1) iamsofuckingjealous of the Yale dykes.

    2) I rocked the asymmetry before I was out. Needless to say, absolutely no one was surprised... at all.

    3) You are back :D. Now everything in the world will be ok.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmm, I'm born pretty asymmetrical. Does that make me super gay? My left shoulder is a bit higher than my right, my muscles are larger on my left...

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  13. Yale queers rock. Smart, sexy, what more could you want?

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  14. No one is truly symmetrical. Anyway, last time I went to the doctor for a breast exam, he saw my boobs and asked me if I knew that one was bigger than the other. I said yes. obviously. He said this is the way god makes us, there's nothing wrong with that... I hope I'm asymmetrical so I can get girls. I'm 25 and yet to get laid. Maybe I'm too picky.

    ReplyDelete
  15. lol did think my lez friend pixie had a thing going when she said she hated to cut hair the same length on both sides. 20 min later i have an epic hair cut!!!

    and i am soooo jelouse right now. its almost winter in New Zealand so out come the hats and scarfs

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  16. Shit I've been rockin the side belt for years! Maybe that why everyone else knew I was gay before I did haha oh asymmetry

    ReplyDelete
  17. I absolutely appreciate your post and the advice contained within; in fact, I immediately sprung up to attempt to put on my favorite belt with its buckle on the side (it worked! HaHA!) I am pleasantly surprised (as I often am by your exemplary wordsmithery) to learn that OTHER lesbians besides myself enjoy wearing a singular earring. From my peers, I often receive a "hey, did you lose an earring?" at least once a day when I attempt to flaunt this style, and it pisses me the fuck off.

    However, the lip ring thing.

    You've mentioned it before, and I know of one girl who irritates me beyond physical capacity (read: I get headaches from her company and therefore avoid her not to be a bitch, but to preserve my sanity) who has a side-lip ring.

    I thought she was a lesbian, but she's straight, and just really likes making out with people in order to bring more attention to herself. She's what I've heard referred to as barsexual - a woman who makes out with girls in the presence of men to gain attention and raise self-esteem. I fell for this. Ech.

    I hope to someday meet a FORREALZ dyke who rocks the side-lip ring, because I think it's incredibly sexy; however, for the time being, the sight of one gives me a migrane. Damn the fates.

    ReplyDelete
  18. the girl with the straight sign on the back looks hella cute

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  19. okay it's fucking cruel to proclaim the joys of Spring, as we head into a cold Autumn over here. I want bare feet and fags in tank tops. Sulk. At least asymmetry suits all seasons.

    ReplyDelete
  20. haha super queer points for me:

    someone pointed out the other day that I always do my belt the man way instead of the woman way, which I'd never noticed (ending on the right side rather than the left)

    ALSO my belt buckle naturally ends up on my hip.
    These hips, they do not lie.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wait... your belt is supposed to end on the left?

    Guess I've been doing that the "man way" too, and didn't even notice!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Yale, gotta love it. That's my photo of a rugby game from the Yalemosexuals! It's such an honor to rank among such carefully chosen photos :).

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  23. You should listen to the radiolab episode "Symmetry". Brilliant.

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  24. I loooove the asymmetry of lezzie hair. Mmmm

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  25. I was in Austin for SXSW, and lemme tell ya, hipsters love asymmetry too. They basically ruin all lesbian identifiers.

    Also, and more importantly, I cannot believe you took a drink from a blue line hobo. Siiiiick.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank you for the rare femme-spotting tip. I wish there were more of those.

    I feel like no one can spot me... I better start rawkin' my belt on the side.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I don't think the asymmetry thing is a dyke thing anymore, at least here in Dublin all it is is a load of cheap looking Rihanna fans with half their head shaved off and dyed bright red.

    However you have given me a further reason to get the side of my lip pierced!

    ReplyDelete
  28. FYI, queer theory says that the word "queer" actually comes from a root that means "across," or "diagonal." I believe Eve Sedgwick said it first, but I can't find the source because I lost database access when I graduated college. (tears.) Here's a Googlebooks excerpt that says something like it: http://bit.ly/i5aTLR

    Check out this quote: "It is no accident that queer orientations have been described by Foucault and others as orientations that follow a diagonal line, which cut across "slantwise" the vertical and horizontal lines of geneaology, perhaps even challenging the "becoming vertical" of ordinary percpetion." Oooh yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This totally explains my compulsion to wear my belts with the buckle over a hip instead over over my crotch. It seemed the most natural thing even before I knew I was gay!

    On the other hand, I have a centered lip piercing. ._______.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I only just found your blog the other day, and how I have managed to survive without it to this day is beyond me, but I love it! It is totally captivating, and wonderful funny reading :) Keep it up! And asymmetry, totally a dyke thing !! :)
    x

    ReplyDelete
  31. I need a new haircut.

    And some belts.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Do only one ring and mismatched string bracelets count?

    ReplyDelete
  33. The side belt buckle actually once had a function over fashion....the origin was musicians, specifically guitar players. When your belt buckle is in the front, you will inevitably scratch the back of your guitar, hence the side belt buckle wearing was born. Not surprising lots of lezzies started utilizing the look...so many acoustic guitar players among us.

    ReplyDelete
  34. in response to the first comment, that study is completely inconclusive.
    "While intriguing, none of these studies provided conclusions about the underlying mechanisms because they imaged perceptional processes, which could be innate, as well as learned."

    i am very skeptical when it comes to drawing conclusions from psychological tests on homo-sexual vs. heterosexual brains..... they are almost always subjective, like this one, i.e. drawing on individual/personal experiences and behavior that is learned/perceived not on biology

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sorry to disappoint, but least one of the twins is into guys. And sex in semi-public spaces in the middle of the day. They're a lot less cool when you have to share a dorm with them.

    ReplyDelete
  36. How do I send you pictures of cute dykes I know? I mean you know, in case you need more pictures for your posts ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. *looks down at belt buckle to the side, wallet chain, plaid and combat boots*

    Well damn.

    You need to come and speak somewhere in San Francisco. Three words my darling-

    Art School Dykes.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm not gonna lie -- sometimes, when you're cutting your own hair, it can be hard to get it completely straight.

    Secondly, the ol' shave the sides but leave the top long means that you can leave it down and be stealth, or pull it up into a pony tail and show off your subcultural affiliation.

    Kind of like the "business in front, party in the rear" theory of mullets.

    Is that why older dykes like mullets so much? Shall I go there?

    ReplyDelete
  39. "But lesbians like asymmetry a lot more than the straights."

    So true!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Oh! And the picture of the topless girl with the tattoos and the underwear totally made me suck in my breath and cross my legs. HOT!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I've been noticing lots of asymmetrical hair lately...unfortunatly, much of it is on hipsters. Holding hands with their boyfriends. With matching wallet chains.

    Not to be a downer or anything...

    But yeah, hipsters, ruining my gaydar.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Is it weird that I did all these gay things you've mentioned in your blog BEFORE I realized I was gay?

    When I did, I stopped doing like half of them.

    Then I started reading your blog and realized that I stopped doing them.

    My subconscious tried to make me less gay?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Also, I use your blog to assess people's sexuality AND IT'S TOTALLY ACCURATE.

    ReplyDelete
  44. True for anywhere else but I live in San Francisco.

    Home of the hipster chicks.

    Who are straight 3 out of 5 times even though they look like dykes.
    Everytime.

    And there is lots of asymmetry and male-attracted shorn heads.

    ReplyDelete
  45. KRISTA. I USED TO LIVE IN CHICAGO. GUESS WHAT?
    This is kind of really irrelevant but, naturally, chiago+lesbians=effing dykes.


    I visited recently and got on the wrong metro. There was a lesbian couple sitting across from me and they were oh-so-cute.
    Then I realized that everyone on the metro was white, consequently realized I was on the wrong line, got off at the next stop and switched lines.

    Pretty sure they thought I was a crazy FOB Mexican.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I can't not be asymmetrical! It's in my wiring! I realized the asymmetrical hair thing is a dyke thing, and then later a (god fucking dammit) hipster thing, but I didn't realize that it was truly THAT ever-reaching! I am now tempted to do the non-reproductive mating dance with the adorable cashier girl over at the Rite Aide. Her hair's symmetrical, and could just be conveniently cut just around her chin, but something about her just says not-so-straight, even if it's only that I'm crushing on her. WHY do I only see her when I'm looking [fairly] straight? I need to buy a "no one knows I'm a lesbian" shirt [sooooo tacky, unless you're a dragging gay boy] and waltz on in, and then she needs to ask me out. O:

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  47. "the non-reproductive mating dance" *snort* :D

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  48. 1. Hooray for your home and space back, welcome back to adulthood.

    2. Yale!!!! Yes! They are part of our consortium, I may start going to their colloquiums! Thank you for this tip.

    3. Hmmm, so when I moved back to the states and officially came out 100%, shaving half my head was just par for the course. Interesting!

    ReplyDelete
  49. A friend of mine coined the term
    "gay-symmetrical" in regards to haircuts. I find that it flows trippingly off the tongue and is helpful when trying to describe someone.

    "You know, thin, sharp-featured, gay-symmetrical hair, three ear studs..."

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hey there! Love your blog!
    Just two real quick things.
    The photo you credited to "hellofromwhereyouwanttobe" is not hers, it was taken by my friend Caitlyn at http://www.flickr.com/photos/cathycampfire/
    And Lu, whose picture you used twice in this article is (very very sadly) not a 'mo. :[
    You can find her tumblr (and the correct credit for one of the photos of her)here: http://veganomaly.tumblr.com/

    ReplyDelete
  51. The Yale Rugby Team was one of the rudest, worst tipping parties I've waited on all year. PASS!

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  52. Can I just say: EEEEEEEEE! Shannon Blowtorch! *sigh*

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  53. Asymmetry is totally true for a certain segment of the queer crowd. It doesn't really apply, however, to women who can't show up to their jobs with half shaved heads, eyebrow piercings, or lip rings to the side. What about spotting a dyke where everyone's in a pants suit or business casual?
    -mighthaveacrushonacoworker

    ReplyDelete
  54. What about girls who look like Justin Bieber? (i.e. THAT haircut) Most of them are automatically gay right? I'm one of them.

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  55. Hi again.
    I love you and I missed you.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Liplicker brings up a very good point - not all lesbians have the luxury of being able to shave their heads or rock piercings with their work situations. I'm one of them. Sure, on my downtime I'll do up some asymmetrical earring styles or a side belt. But how do you spot a "9-5" lesbian? (I was going to say "professional" lesbian - but that sounds like my dream job...)

    ReplyDelete
  57. I wanted to let you know that I've been following your blog and every single one of your posts gives me great joy and makes my day so much better.

    -A lurker who wanted to let you know you're appreciated. <3

    ReplyDelete
  58. The best part of this is the photo of the owl. Which, has an asymmetrical skull in order to use sound to create 3-D images at night to hunt for prey. Maybe that is why it is my favorite vertebrate of the avian variety. Now I'm officially fully geeked out for the day.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Wow. My gf wears one silver stud and one neon pushpin for earrings. We drunkenly pierced our newly-out friend's ear and she wouldn't let us do the other, claiming that the single-sided double piercing looked positively "dyketastic." Things are starting to make so much sense..

    ReplyDelete
  60. Dammit...I'm a straight guy, already aware that I'm attracted to women who have a high probability of being lesbians (my first GF was bi), and every time you do a post like this it singles out something that makes me melt - the hair rumple, asymmetry...I am so screwed, in that I probably won't be.

    BTW, don't know if you've mentioned this before, but for a semi-scientific method, check out her finger length. Someone actually did a statistical paper on this. Almost all men have their index finger shorter than their ring finger. ~90% of straight women have them equal or the index finger longer, but about 80% of lesbians have their index finger shorter, like men. No one knows why, and it doesn't work for gay men.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Plus I just realized that the ex-GF (now married to a woman), who I'm still friends with, also has rabbits. Jesus Christ.

    I think the lip ring isn't right though. They may be more common in general among lesbians, but almost all of the ones I've seen are on one side.

    ReplyDelete
  62. "Attention ladies: You won't be having reproductive sex with me."
    ^ This needs to be a shirt!

    And a shout out to femmes who don't get spotted~ Do some flirting! Use your charms! Put equality stickers on your laptop and patches for queer bands on your bags and then go hang out at gay coffee shops! Remember that it is always hard to ignore someone who is flirting with you, and people always know when they're being flirted with ;)

    ReplyDelete
  63. as much as this makes sense
    I hate being asymmetrical when it comes to piercings and tattoos. I had to match up my ears (four each), got my septum done instead of a normal nose stud or ring, and when I get my nips done I'm getting both. And I'm trying to wean myself off the whole symmetry thing by designing an asymmetrical tattoo that I would really like and be okay with it not being centered on my body/image wise. But arghhhh.
    the side belt though-witnessed it the other day. hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  64. http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljmbbnH43x1qzf9gso1_500.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  65. Oh my god this just gives me so much more fuel for picking on my "straight"-friends-who-are-so-obviously-in-denial

    ReplyDelete
  66. My boobs are asymmetrical. Does that count? :D I do love cute girls with the asymmetrical alt-lifestyle haircuts

    ReplyDelete
  67. I love you and this blog, but sometimes I feel you feel pressure to perform here and then it gets formulaic. Relax we love you.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Moral of the story, gay gals are effing SMART.

    ReplyDelete
  69. *dramatically sweeps back asymmetrical haircut*

    *struts around with side-buckled belt*

    Winning.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I wonder if this is part of the affinity dykes have for smirking? Think about it: it's an asymmetrical smile.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Wow.
    I'm wearing a studded belt and it's buckled to the side. And I use a messenger bag every day.

    Fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  72. But but but
    It hurts my hips when the metal buckle is pressuring it. And is looser around the front, where it serves it purpose of tightening the waistband of my pants.

    But its friggin cute.

    ReplyDelete
  73. 1. Short Bieber do on the right, swept up to spiky fauxhawk on the left sweeps to the left with diag accent of copper in the back.
    2. Sexy looking messenger bag...Also winning!
    3. One OM earing.
    4. No reproductive sex for 20+ years now
    5. Smirking because I loved this post so much

    ReplyDelete
  74. The photo right above "Lets talk asymmetry" confuses the fuck out of me. Where did her boobs go????

    ReplyDelete
  75. hey krista!

    with all this categorizing of All Things Lesbian (which i LOVE, btw, don't get me wrong), how about doing a post on the Uber Lesbians -- the ones who simply *are* queer, at their core, rather than needing an external support system to their queerness like flagging, or buckling your belt and combing your hair on the side, etc -- ie, the lesbians who kinda, how do i put it, *hate* All Things Lesbian?

    looking back, my last three gfs (oops! i mean boifriends, a much preferred term) have fallen into this non-category category. ani difranco don't do nothin' for them, they'd much prefer hanging at straight sports bars then attending ghey 80s night, and they go for chicks like me (for obvi reasons, seeing my outward-seeming total non gayness). do you know what i'm talking about??? the "i'm SO gay i'm NOT gay, per se," lesbians?

    ...who are repulsed, even, by the word alone "lesbian"?

    it'd be tough, but maybe you could try your hand at talking about *them*? the invisible minority.... sort of, in an inverse sense, like femme queers.

    and now that i'm thinking about it, the chicks who REALLY shout out that they're dykes are my baby dyke friends: the ones who are still in formation, and still need that "im GAY" sticker/rainbow tattoo to support their developing identities.... kind of the opposite of what i'm referring to here: those who simply "are" - no flagging needed, because how gay is that, *gross*.

    what strength! what character! what hottness! and how simply human.... you know? :)

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  76. Amber Heard does the side belt buckle: http://tinypic.com/r/51f0g9/7

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  77. Oh my gosh...that means, in the 80's, we were all lesbians!!

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  78. You know, the more I read this blog, the more I get why my friend Kaitlyn (fake name) thinks I'm gay (actually, I'm questioning, but I'm not giving her the satisfaction of knowing that). God knows what would happen if she found out about all that Willow/Tara fanfiction...

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  79. You forgot about gauges! I don't know about your local but in BK that shit is fucking rampant among the lesbian peeps, have also noted lots of asymmetry there too though (chicks with just the one huge gauge, usually on the side of their head with the shorter hair...) just a little more evidence for you :)

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  80. First off, your blog is fucking brilliant. Read-it-for-an-hour-and-forget-about-LWord-reruns-brilliant. I seriously no longer need to do an ab workout today. Secondly, I fucking love this post. Because it's so true. But also because it made me realize that fucking hipsters (not to be confused with fucking hipsters, which, if they're hot, is perfectly okay) totally make my gaydar go wonky. I'm working on these technical glitches, but man, the belt tip might save me.

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  81. This explains every haircut I've ever had since coming out(and...well...also before).

    Fucking brilliant.

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  82. Apparently you are on to something quite brilliant there was a scientific study about it! [also your hoodie observation is quite astute]

    http://jezebel.com/5878336/science-unlocks-the-key-to-gaydar

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  83. I'm having REAL issues with this pseudo-scientistic stroke-the-Bourgeois evo-psycho symmetry thing. Do you think gay/bi men and transgender women (or transgender women who were once gay men--I'm in love with one) would also appreciate asymmetry?

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