Monday, December 13, 2010

Ho Ho Homo



[via anchormedown]
Hiya, clam-smackers!


Hilarious.  
Y'allfags are hilarious.  
Soooo many good lesbian-specific substitutions for "cockblocking."  


I didn't know where to turn.
[via thingstomiss]
Finally, this morning, I sat down at my kitchen table with the firm determination to make a list of what I thought were the best ones.  


Criteria for bestestness:


* Rolls off the tongue.
* Can be used in real life.
* Accuracy of description.
* Can be pronounced when drunk.
* Makes coffee come out my nose.


Finally, after an exhaustive twenty whole minutes, the list was complete.  The Final Seven were:


1) Vagected
2) Twat swat
3) Clam jam
4) Clitorference
5) Beaver impeder
6) Taco blocko
7) Scissorception


Then I sat and stared at the list.  
(by t .)
I couldn't decide.  They were all so good.  


One could easily imagine oneself at the bar yelling "Taco blocko! Did you see that shit?"
[via fridgewithfeet]
Any of them, in my opinion.


It was too difficult to choose.
So I sent a mass text to a lot of lesbians. 


Within mere seconds, we had an overwhelming winner.


Annnnd the winner is....CLITORFERENCE with a staggering 80% of votes! 


Clitorference!
[via fuckyeahblackdykes]
Tawnya and Mea called me immediately to explain their choice.


Tawnya: We just looked at each other and pictured ourselves making a "X" with our arms at the bar, like a football referee, and screaming, "CLITORFERENCE!!!"  


It's a sports reference, which makes sense 'cause major perpetrators of cockblockage are sporty dykes.  Also, you could just make a tiny "X" with your fingers and mouth it to your friends.  
Excellent.  


Hey, creater of "clitorference"?  You wrote in as 'Anonymous'.  How are you supposed to get your prize if you don't tell me who you are?? 
Sheesh.  Write me, darlin'.  effingdykes@gmail.com.
[via adillathegenius]
Ok, faggettes.  It's that time of year again.  


The holidays.  
Time to gather with family and friends back home.  
Where you grew up.
[via awkwardfamilyphotos]
Where you have to explain, over and over again, why vegans don't eat bacon bits, even if they're really little, while Aunt Carrie asks you when you're going to come home from the 'big city' and get married because she read on Yahoo News that the crime rate is really going up, while your mom fusses with your hair and tells you she likes it so much better when it's longer and why do you wear so much black, don't you know you look so beautiful in jewel tones? and Dad wants to know just exactly how the non-profit you work for plans to pay you if it's a non-profit...it wouldn't be from taxpayers footing the bill, would it?
Great.
  
The Jewish kids are almost done, but in Christmas land, the terror is mounting: in two weeks, it's time for the awkwardness, alllll over again.
[via katiefuckingfitch]
There's only one silver lining that I can see, and that's...


PRESENTS!!!! 
PREZZIES!! Prehhhh-sents.
Whatever.  
Don't judge.  
I like to give presents, too.
I just love the whole ceremony of it.  The planning.  The hiding.  The tissue paper.  It's exciting! 


Last year, I got everything on my list, except for one spectacular oversight.  
This year, I have been truly, magnificently good, so I'm sure Santa will see reason and grant me all my wishes. 


Here's my list.  It's oh-so-tiny.  C'mon Santa.

*Krista's Wish List 2010-2011*


1.  A breadmaker with a gluten-free setting.  
Christ almighty.  I need one.  Do you sluts know how much one measly, 10-slice loaf of gluten-free bread is? Do you?  Because it's six dollars.  A loaf.  
Holy fuck.  I love toast.  I'm going broke.


2.  A Great Dane.  Specifically, a Great Dane puppy with a black coat and white tuxedo stripe, and white paaaaaaaws.  


He could also be tan.
I shall call him Jacob.


I've asked for Jacob for 5 years running, now, and every Christmas morning it's the same: AN UTTER LACK OF ENORMOUS BOXES WITH AIRHOLES.  
[via emily saurus]
No.  No.  
This Christmas cannot be a repeat.  
Jacob and I will be best friends and he'll look really scary and frighten the Ukrainian hooligans that hang around my neighborhood.  They'll all be terrified of his fierce growls and sleek muscles and only I will know that he's a gentle giant.  
I'll coordinate his collars with my outfits and snuggle up to his warm, fuzzy chest in sunbeam patches on the floor.  


I've already read Be The Pack Leader.


I already have a plastic bin full of XXL dog clothes under my bed. 


I'm like those ladies who buy baby clothes waaaaay before they get pregnant.  
It's getting shameful. 
[via boybitch]


3) These:
Look at these fucking cute boots.  
They look like they have adorable grey legwarmers attached.  Like your feet are made of shaggy, stocky ponies.  
Chicago is freezing.  I need these.


4) The entire Crashpad series on DVD.  


Crashpad is lesbian porn made by actual lesbians.  
They come the closest of any films I've ever seen to making My Ideal Porn, which is: 


Two elfin boi-types making out.  
[via oh cardigan]
That's it.  That's all I want.  
I just want to watch bois having a hard-core make-out session.  I don't even want to see anything graphic. 
Everyone can keep their pants on, even.  
I just want to watch bois make out.  Simple pleasures.


5) A subscription to the Suicide Girls website.  
[via suicidegirls]
I'm caving.  
I'm finally asking for it, Santa.  
You guys.  I don't care.  


6) 100% white cotton underwear, hipster-style, with nothing on it.  No brand names, not too expensive, no girly details, so CJ and I can buy it in bulk and then she can print on them at her studio. 
Fuckit.  I've looked everywhere.  
These do not exist.  Not in bulk.


7) An adorable, technologically-savvy lil' lesbian who's majoring in something computery, loves working for free, needs credit in building websites for school and wants to add "Webmaster of Effing Dykes" to her resume.  
[via typewrit]
Ahehe.
Just throwin' it out there.


And...that's it, gayelles.  That's all I want.  Bread, porn, boots, underwear, a cute intern/slave, and a Great Dane named Jacob.


What's on your list? C'mon I need ideas.  I can't give this list to my mom.

83 comments:

  1. I want a Kindle, so I can read all the porn and dyke novels I want, and NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW, because they can't see the cover, and if they ask what I'm reading, I can name off some boring book that's "for my British Lit class."
    Heehee.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I also want a giftcard to somewhere that sells underwear, because my Cairn Terrier has chewed the crotch out of almost all of my skivvies.
    (BTW you should totes settle for a Cairn, because not only are they cute, holy SHIT ARE THEY TENACIOUS. My puppy almost attacked a motherfuckin' lab before)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i just want my gf who is from another island in our country to be with me on christmas day... so cheesy but true. long distance relationship sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i want a paddle! paddle used for dragon boat racing! been wanting one for 3months now. i don't have the budget to buy one so i'm gonna ask santa. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. i want a plane ticket to chicago to meet you and all the great lesbians in your story that you've been sharing with us. a signed shirt or something from you is one hell of a gift from santa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want money so I can buy Effing Dykes and Autostraddle merch and all seasons of The L Word on DVD.

    I'm looking forward to lezzing it up this Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  7. guess who just started the web design program at MCTC... muhaha
    talk to me in one year when i *might* know what i'm doing with that

    <3 kelly in the cheese

    ReplyDelete
  8. I WANT AN iPAD!!!!! also a job and maybe one of those vacuum cleaners made for pet hair. (mine keeps clogging)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I want some opera DVDs, a subscription to UTNE, a gift cards to my favorite coffee shop/Gamestop/Borders, the official "Hey Ash, Whatcha' Playin'?" DVD, a handknitted sweater with love in the stitches.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always ask for museum-quality reproductions of medieval codices. Clearly I never get these.
    http://www.moleiro.com/en/books-of-medicine/the-book-of-simple-medicines.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is my favorite christmas list ever!! I have to say though, I have a big black dane-ish (hehe, danish...) dog named Domino. You can borrow him for the day, Im pretty sure you will edit your list to make Jacob into a bit smaller version! :) Just kidding, totally go for a dane, they are awesome! Happy Holidays, thanks for making mine a bit better with a good laugh :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmm...how will Jacob get along with Midge? Won't she get jealous? Bunnies are possessive little fuckers.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I want DADT to be repealed!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I want a Gameboy color and Pokemon Yellow. And a 90's dance party. Baby lezzie's getting old enough to be nostalgic.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey, Anonymous-who-was-talking-about-DADT?

    ME TOO.

    ReplyDelete
  16. if you do end up getting that gift subscription to SG look me up, I'm Suri and a suicidegirl.


    also, i'm really proud that "clam jam" made it on the list

    ReplyDelete
  17. I want an email reply back from you, that would be an awesome present. lol =] i want all the new xbox's and COD black ops merch, all the seasons of the L word on DVD would be sick. Damn shane is so fuckin bangable....YUM =]

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow so... I want almost everything on this list. Except for the great dane. My list includes the 2nd season of Six Feet Under and a boi to make out with. ;P

    ReplyDelete
  19. I have a short list for Christmas

    1. A Vagina
    2. Tits
    3. A second X chromosome
    4. Not to have a Y Chromosome
    5. Not to have a boys name
    6. Not to be a boy

    Some of them are a bit more accessible.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Holy shit.

    Real.Lesbian.Porn.

    HOLY FUCKBALLS.

    That can't be real, I'm still rubbing my eyes. What I've wanted for so long can not have just been revealed to me, there's just no way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. *cough*iknowhtmlandamfairlyartistic/graphicallyinclined*cough

    what was that bit about a webmaster?

    ReplyDelete
  22. A generous sum of money to pay back my extensive student loans. ;( Ouch.

    ReplyDelete
  23. OMG have you seen Champions? Thats totally hot queer-dyke porn. I'd love someone to buy me that on DVD ;). *hint hint santa*

    But seriously, I want a tank bag for my motorbike cos panniers look dumb on a sports bike. And being a femme, I have a lot of shit that I carry around with me ;).

    ReplyDelete
  24. 1) another tattoo
    2) boob job
    3) an old '73 jeep for me & my german shepherd to ride in while we chase my honey's helicopter north to alaska and cross country for the summer
    4) a new pair of hiking boots

    ReplyDelete
  25. Gap Body has the plain white cotton hipsters you want. (I'm wearing a pair as I text this. OK, tmi.) Don't know if you can get them in bulk tho.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Woohoo! I created 'Clitorference'...and I figured out how to give myself a name (2 points Amanda, 0 points technology).

    (clearly, I am no webmaster candidate)

    However, to coin a term is pretty much better than anything I could ask for, for Christmas.

    Although, I would like a Kindle.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I want a custom made strap on harness from Project Trans Action. My mom keeps asking what I want for Christmas but somehow I think asking for this *MIGHT* be a little awk-weird:

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/59125164/longhorn-leather-harness

    ReplyDelete
  28. a Wacom tablet-i'm a Photographer and work a lot digitally, so getting carpel tunnel is nearly un-avoidable otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear Krista,

    I hope that you have discovered Udi's gluten free bread. It seems likely that you have, but I thought I'd be remiss just in case you didn't know and I didn't inform you. It is squishy and delicious and makes great french toast and other yummy things. But yes, expensive. Still, better than anything I've made at home...

    Love,
    A fellow gluten free, dairy free homo.

    ReplyDelete
  30. An iPad so I can check effingdykes for updates every day whilst my woman is lurking on the Macbook on MY facebook account almost like it is a full time job. A trip to Sephora with my daughters for Stila Smudge Pots in "Kitten" and "Bronze". The L word complete DVD set ..yes to watch Shane do her thing...oh, AND gluten free beer.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I want my girlfriend for Chirstmas. LDR's SUCK and not in a good way. Honey has already told me that when we can live together I do get my Great Dane. Mine is going to be named Kitty-Kitty. So I can take it to the dog park and freak people out when I call her.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ho ho homos to y'all from the Santa-land!

    I'm a full-time materialist and writing down my wish-list would take me years so I will just share my professional wish-list in here.

    - I'd like to get that job that I applied yesterday (think the interview went preeetty well!)
    - If I don't, I need those books to prep me for the School of Economics.
    (- I need to get in that school!)

    There. It's good that I live here in Scandinavia, close to Santa. Hopefully he hears my wishes and makes the come true.

    And what comes to Great Danes.. love them! Just cuddled one blue Dane yesteday. They give massive bruises to your legs (or stomach if you are short like me..) with their wagging whip-like tail! Autsh!

    But please, throw that Ceasar Millain bullshit book away. Majestic dog such Great Dane doesn't deserve that amateur's advises.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I want a date with a gorgeous girl who reads this blog, but I'm too shy to say who... :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. I want ...
    -my grandparents to be okay with my sexuality
    -a job after graduation
    -the balls ...erm, ovaries?... to ask some girls on dates [omg how did y'all do it?? all of you writing in about needing new technology because your gf is always on your laptop or whatever? i am in awe of your coupled-ness]

    Or on the materialistic side:
    -an acoustic guitar
    -a bicycle
    -vegan/pleather boots

    My guess is that I will probably get a gift certificate to barnes and noble, which is pretty nice too - books are great :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. I WANT DADT TO BE REPEALED, not to get snow-stranded at an airport during my leave, for my mom to stop being in denial about my gayness, and a girlfriend who is also an officer, so when this nonsense ends I don't have to worry about frat. Not holding my breath for any of it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. To everyone who wants a Kindle - get one. I have one and seriously, best invention ever.

    I want to have lots and lots of hot slutty sex with hot slutty lesbians (just got out of a sexless, shitty relationship). I also want an African Grey parrot. I will name her Marla, and I will teach her to scream creative swear-words at random passerby. I also want Krista to start watching Season 3 of Skins. Hint, hint.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Boyshorts.
    And a date with my crush, that'd be a miracle and they best present ever.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Being southern and currently stuck in the midwest, tits deep in snow......I just want to be warm.

    Do they make snow suites in adult sizes?
    I don't give a fuck if I look like the kid from "A Christmas Story".

    Fashion be damned.... My cajun ass is cold.

    ReplyDelete
  39. i ration my gluten free bread out...i make my two loaves of kinnick kinnick last a month,
    tried every single f-ing bread maker *sigh*
    stuff is shite

    so if you get one, and it works
    for god's sake woman blog about it...take pictures even
    PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAse

    ReplyDelete
  40. I've been a bit of a minimalist this year, so I don't care for x-mas presents. However I am looking forward to watching musicals next year as a treat!

    Yo, now that you picked a word, you gotta make it go viral!! I recommend partnering with Autostraddle and saying clitorference in various situations and skits to school homos!!!! Lezdoit!!!

    Oh, can that be my x-mas wish???

    ReplyDelete
  41. 3.0 gpa to stay in grad school. that can determine how good or bad my xmas will be. t-minus one week till there up. everyone please cross your fingers or whatever you would like to do

    ReplyDelete
  42. I want a netbook, my sleep cycle to return to something semi normal (aka finals suck), a cordless drill, and uhm sex (finals have limited that as well:( )

    ReplyDelete
  43. woah, hey, possibly trans anonymous up there. You don't have to be a boy if you don't want to!
    People might not see that. If so, it's because people are idiots.

    And hey, fuck chromosomes. You know how much people actually care about chromosomes? Unless they're biologists, the answer is not a whole lot. You don't have to care either!

    I think I know how you might be feeling. I've been through all that. look, shoot me an e-mail or something (17eventeen (at) gmail (dot) com is the address).

    Finallly, like with being a boy, you don't have to have a boy's name either!
    People, again, are stupid. But this doesn't mean that you and the internet can know that they're wrong. The next time you sign up for something online, try setting your profile to 'female' and see how it feels. Try not using the name that your parents gave you, see how it feels.

    And depending on how much you want them, tits are totally a possibility. Hormones'll grow you those suckers in a year, tops.

    ReplyDelete
  44. dear krista--

    you want my boots!

    also, hi, how are you? i love your blog. as i love all your blogs.

    love,

    cate (moxie)

    ReplyDelete
  45. I want fancy men's shoes from Fluevog, and bowties. Like, 15 bowties. And a banjolele.

    ReplyDelete
  46. i want stickers (preferable unicorn ones)
    and i want new charms for my pandora bracelet
    and a trip to vancouver with my girlfriend for spring break
    and to have passed all my final exams

    but mostly i just wanted to live in a house with a loft bedroom and floral couches and a lavender kitchen
    and wake up cuddling my girl every morning forever

    (thx santa)

    ReplyDelete
  47. 1) Bacos are vegan. Allegedly. I haven't bothered to actually check because I really am not sure what bacos are for.

    2) Every time I am home my dad extols the non-virtues of the non-profit world.

    3) Last time I saw my extended family, my cousin tried to set me up with her Son. Let's set aside the fact that we were at the marriage of two women and still pushing a heterosexist, codependent agenda. He's My Cousin.

    4) Jacob is in the mail. I don't have a lot of money so I sent him via smart post.

    ReplyDelete
  48. 1. DADT repealed umm that would be awesome
    2. Families accepting/comprehending our lezness would be ideal
    3. A career goal that's perfect for me
    4. Someone who wont use me as a stepping stone in their life

    As far as materialism goes, coffee and hot chocolate with organic milk (yes both, I have my addictions)+ books + fireplace= perfection

    ReplyDelete
  49. I want knitted goodness such as a great scarf. (I make tons of crafty things, but knitting isn't my deal). A sweet butch bracelet watch from etsy that is way too expensive and Amanda Palmer's book.

    Also, I hope you get your SG account. I've been on there for 4 years and have loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hmmmm...I want a Nook. Or an iPad. Badly.

    And please...go Victoria Stillwell. Not Ceasar.

    And while I don't ha a great dane for you...I can definately find you a dog. :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. seasons 4, 5 and 6 of LOST.

    also, a pair of vintage 1490 Docs. that's it, not so bad, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  52. I've got an SG account, and would be happy to send you one. Email me from an email address I can send it to. :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. I recently started making websites and I love reading Effing Dykes... I think I can fulfill wish #7 on your list, Krista!

    ReplyDelete
  54. finals week to be over! I miss sex with my girl.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Merry X-mass maybe!

    http://www.dharmatrading.com/html/eng/409513-AA.shtml?lnav=clothing_women.html

    I have no idea how to insert links. Hope these are what you're looking for, this site tends to be pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
  56. you just gave me everything I want (almost):
    the knowledge that real, true lesbian born exists! Amazing! I don't even need to see it to be happy (maybe next year this happiness will have subsided and I will NEED to see it!)
    2. I want a bookshelf. I big one (this requires a bigger apartment, but hey, a girl can fantasize).
    One that will fit all of my books, all of them, not some of them, no piles, not double stacked. I want the books out of my bed, off the floor, I don't want to have sex only to have a book fall to the floor (so embarassing).
    I want it to fit under my loft bed (small apartment), maybe it could move, like those things in the library that slide out of the way to show more books on more topics. yes! A button to move it, or a crank. Maybe a crank, that way it'll never break. Many bookshelves, a small library under my bed! Yes!!!!! This will be wonderful
    I will be organized and my girlfriend will stay at MY apt because we could sleep without books. Joy! A bookshelf, please.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I want a white, female bull terrier with a big black spot over one eye. Her name will be Brody and maybe she and Jacob can be friends.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Would anyone like to compare this list to Oprah's latest list of Favorite Things? - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oprah%27s_favorite_things#2010 - If that is what "strait" is, I like this list better.

    Also... I want cash. Just piles and piles of cash so I can live like a queen for a week.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The crash pad. -swoon-

    Okay Santa.
    -straddles lap- for christmas (and I've been a terribly naughty girl) I want:

    1. Lingerie. Sexy panties. Sexy bras. Stockings that go up to my thighs. Lace. Ribbons. Bows.

    2. Another betta tank for my betta hotel, so I have have more betta fish because I love them.

    3. A glass gspot stimulator.

    4. A shiny piece of Aquamarine (in the shape of a ring. AHEM GIRLFRIEND.)

    5. A date with you, Krista. (Come to the great white north. ;D)

    6. A six pack of lucky extra, a pack of Djarums, and a house I can drink/smoke in all I want.

    ReplyDelete
  60. For any occasion, even this one, I want:



    For people to wake up and realise a need to SHARE the planet, not CONQUER it (nor destroy it)

    To give myself the willpower to stop eating seafood, or I can never become vegan

    To earn a decent job and therefore living so that I may spoil the shit out of my loved ones (quadripeds included OF COURSE!)

    To be allowed to return to school without having to come up with asnine boat-loads of money in back-student loans (I know, piss in one hand...)

    To go back to M'waukee and see my gramma and sister (I have two sisters, one is here, one is there. Oh, here is Missouri).

    BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE EVER: I want a cure for Crohn's disease for my sister, who has suffered at the hands of over-paid ignorant bastards for far too long. Even a patient advocate would help at this point. This isn't something a magic pill from Dr. De-elevator will fix. She just wants a normal life. Thanx.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Dear Santa,
    I want the pasta roller attachment to my KitchenAid. And a saute pan that's not teflon, 'cuz I <3 my brain cells.

    Also, some jeans the don't gap at the small of my back would be awesome. or putting a saucy lil tattoo there. better still, both.

    if we really want to go over the top, a visit from my See-Store would be super fun.

    oh, and effin dykes under-pantalones, to match the hoodie my bestie promised to get me.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I want money to put in my new tattoo fund.

    And cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  63. So sad beaver impeader lost :( Also, I would really heart effingdykes boishorts so I could have the best stocking stuffers ever for all the bois I know.

    I do not want crashpad - I can't watch it I know to many of the girls - awkward ...

    I do want to be able to knit 20 scarves in the next 2 weeks but I can't knit that fast unless I quit my job and without my job I can't afford yarn (I hate a hobson's choice) and I'd ask for a sheep or alpaca but I live in a studio so I couldn't keep it and solve my yarn problem that way :( (much like your dreams of ponies)

    I do want to find a way to pull off big gifts for others but for that my non-profit job would have to go for profit. I would like to finish my ink-work, and buy an x-box of my own so my friend can't continue to remind me they want it back because their semester is over and they are really crazy bored.

    FOR YOU - I would like you to figure out how awesome hyperboleandahalf blog is - your site and hers were meant to be linked.

    The end.

    ReplyDelete
  64. First of all, I've been saying "clitorference" in my head for a week so I'm glad it won. Hope your anonymous poster checks in.

    Second, my Christmas wish is to sleep for one week with no obligation to do anything (like feed the children) during that time. Ain't gonna happen.

    I do music for a living, so by the time the actual holiday rolls around I'm done. Also, time with the family of origin? Nooootsofuckingmuch.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Congrats on being voted one of the best LGBT blogs by Guide to Online Schools! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  66. Hi, I can help you with the web developer stuff. Seriously.
    Just send me an e-mail if you're still looking for someone. barbaradwdick@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  67. I want UPS to hire a cute boi to deliver packages. Whenever I visit home i try to sleep in and chill, but my mom is a QVC Home Shopping Network junkie, so I'm constantly awoken from my (obviously warranted) hungover state to walk to the front door half dressed and smelling like whiskey-death to let some gross ass old khaki-wearing delivery boy put boxes (lol) in my parent's foyer. If I thought for a second that the delivery guy was actually a hot boyish lez...well that knowledge would be conducive to getting my lazy self out of bed. I wouldn't be gross-hungover girl, I'd be hot-mess-smells-great(somehow)-cute-messy-hair-in-briefs girl. And then we'd totally flirt for a second and fast forward to talking about life while cuddling and listening to Rilo Kiley and Tegan and Sara and life's perfect #dreamlife.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Great present= Soap! Scarves! Bath Confetti! Find awesome scents on this new website! Still growing, I love using this site, my favorite is the pi shaped apple soap!
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001683777883

    ReplyDelete
  69. Haha there were 69 comments before me.

    Anywho~ we got our wish. DADT is repealed. Merry Christmans, guys!

    ReplyDelete
  70. NOOOOOOOOO CESAR MILAN IS EVIL. Good list, though. The Crashpad series does look fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Ooops I should check my spelling. Millan.

    ReplyDelete
  72. @ Sapphist
    I was misdiagnosed as Gluten-intolerant so my advice might not help, but Budweiser says right on the bottle that it's RICE beer.

    ReplyDelete
  73. I LOOOOOVE to get presents! This year I want a bunch of stuff for my Jetta... and then a ton of time in bed with my lady. :)

    ReplyDelete
  74. Holla queers!

    I want all of the seasons of Queer as Folk US version (the L word is just too emo) and i've got a massive wanty want book list :P Cash is the best tho!

    ReplyDelete
  75. I still want my snow suit..... and a B.B. gun.

    Merry Fuckin' Ho Ho, y'all.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I want to find that adorable girl's phone number I wrote down on a piece of paper and lost last week.

    Is that too much to ask for, Santa?

    ReplyDelete
  77. To the person who wanted a KitchenAid pasta attachment for Christmas: if you didn't get one, lemme know, cuz I did, and I *just* totally cut pasta out of my diet with no intention of bringing it back. But I didn't have the heart to tell my mom who was clearly so excited to give it to me.

    To Krista: I am so glad you are asking for a web designer intern. :) :) :) I'm clearly a horrible communicator because you sent me an email like two months ago that I never responded to but in it you were like "what should I do about my website?" and I was totally going to offer to work on it because I'm totally capable of doing to yours what I did to mine (I mean not the *exact* same thing, but the general idea) and it doesn't take long and would be totally easy. So I could do it but I still think it would be totally awesome for you to have a cute college intern who stays up until 5am with tousled hair in effingdykes cotton hipster briefs and a quart of coffee, furiously coding effingdykes.com. Cuz that's hot. Not that I think college students are hot... that would be a little bit weird. Well maybe a senior... ...

    And I guess I'll comment on your christmas post here even though it's the wrong post because here I am on a roll and I already read that one: I am so with you on the feeling-like-a-lab-specimen thing around families. Totally felt that way this whole holiday. SIGH.

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  78. You're fucking hilarious and made me aware of crash pad. Amazing. Just amazing.

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  79. What is it with all those dykes against Cesar? Forget your PC sensibilities and realize he understands how dogs operate. Victoria Stillwell dresses like a sexy domme and I love her accent, but she takes 10 times as long to achieve any progress because it takes dogs that long to figure out what she's trying to communicate. She doesn't speak their language they way Cesar does.

    Krista, stick with Cesar and be the alpha in your relationship with Jacob...you'll both be happier. :)

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  80. Wireless adapter for my xbox, kindle, warm winter boots, exercise bike and a bunny rabbit called marmite. :3

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  81. make a deal with these folks? http://www.venus.com/viewproduct.aspx?BRANCH=7~129~&ProductDisplayID=14817&dept=Venus+Clothing-Venus+Clothing&prod=Brief

    :) Miss you, Krista. You used to write so often!

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  82. +$3,624 PROFIT last week!

    Receive 5 Star verified winning picks on MLB, NHL, NBA and NFL + Anti-Vegas Smart Money Signals!

    ReplyDelete