Friday, December 3, 2010

Block Goes the Weiner

genderconfusion
Holla, faggettes!


I never even asked you how your Thanksgiving was.


How was your break?
Mine was epic.  
I didn't get out of my pajamas for four days.

On Sunday morning, I was curled up, re-reading the last Harry Potter book (only when you have memorized entire pages can you consider yourself truly ready to annoy the shit out of friends who haven't read the books and just go to the movies) in preparation for seeing it this Friday night.

The wind was gusting outside, but my bed was toasty and snug.
  
The heat kept clicking on with that wonderful dry "heater-in-an-old-house" smell.  

CJ was making hot chocolate.  


I wiggled my bare toes, happily, under the blankets.  
(by Helen Korpak)
When I got to the part about Harry, Hermione, and Ron wandering in the howling wilderness for weeks at a time and being so cold and so hungry they almost died, I knew it was juuuuust about time.

I abandoned my book, flung off the covers, and began fixing myself large amounts of buttered toast with honey, pecorino cheese, and ham.  


Then I grabbed Harry Potter and continued to read about their arduous journey at the kitchen table.  
[via falsecontender]
Those poor kids.
They were miserable.

I was warm in my kitchen and had ham.


I like very much to eat while I read books about being hungry.

I cut myself a slice of cake and settle into the story. 

Get a glass of almond milk and go, "Man, you really are having a rough time! Too bad I'm not there with you. I have cookies" sort of thing.
(by heddaselder)
I especially like to eat the exact food that the hungry character can't stop thinking about.

When it's a wartime book, and the soldier is wishing for his mother, I usually bake an apple pie.

When it's a pioneer book, I make homemade bread and eat the hell out of some raspberry preserves. 


If the sailors only have hard tack and salted, maggoty pork left, I'm standing over my George Foreman wondering if fresh grilled steak tastes anything like fresh grilled human flesh.

You know. 


People are wasting away in my story, I'm shaking up new butter in a mason jar and adding kosher salt.
[via wallofbooks]


In one of my childhood favorites -Shabanu, Daughter of the Wind- Shabanu is dying of thirst in the desert. She wishes for a cold, clear stream of water, a drink that would cut a silver path down the dust of her throat.
Ahhhhh let me just refill the Brita.

I was trying to tell Sarah about this one time and she was giving me the "you're a sick fuck" face.
myseaofanonymity
Whatevs.  It's good to have hobbies.


Let me tell you about Sarah for a minute.  
You know how Kelly's The Straightest Girl in the World


Well, Sarah is The Gayest Straight Girl Ever.
Srsly.
*Backstory!*
Sarah's one of my oldest friends.  
I've known her since second grade, when she wore a turquoise-and-pink puffy parka and hid Jolly Ranchers in all the pockets.  


She had a red-haired porcelain doll she wouldn't let me touch on a doll-stand in her room (also named Sarah, isn't that fucked up), and now she is a high-powered coffee executive in Chicago.  


She's always either deciding to be a vegan or juuuuust coming out of it and starting to eat meat again.
  
She was the first person at Bay Port High to get a facial piercing.  


Her hair was always pink or purple or green or blue or shaved.  


People wrote "YOUR A DIKE" on her locker and she listened to a lot of Tori Amos and drove around with me from thrift store to thrift store, smoking.


Sarah looked like a lesbian.  A big one.
Still does, for that matter.
Sets off my gaydar anew, every time I see her.

She wears tailored mens' suits.
She has a crew cut.  
And Earth shoes.
And...a Subaru.

It's really difficult for me to imagine Sarah with a guy, but when it comes down to it, I have to face facts: 

Sarah's straight.  My straight friend who looks gayer than half the lesbians I know. 

She's not my gay buddy. 
But she might as well be.

The other night, we went to Big Star to have what she kept calling "tacos and bourbon." 
As in, "We totally have to go for tacos and bourbon."


Do those things not go together or is it just me?
(via scatterhearted)
Anyway! After we secured a table and Sarah had ordered for me (really - not gay at all), and I had discovered that tacos and bourbon should never, ever, under any circumstances go together, Sarah nudged me.  
And pointed.


We were sitting next to a noisy, big table of lesbians.  
I had been so absorbed in my pork-belly-and-pineapple taco that I hadn't even noticed.  


And something...interesting was going on.
leslienice
There were five dykes at the table: an obvious couple and then three other women.  


A very cute femme and two boyish-types, all in their late 20's to early 30's.


And there seemed to be a bit of confusion about who was hitting on the femme.  
via ditc
Because both the bois were trying to get her attention, and it was kind of hilarious.


Every time one of the bois started to have an actual conversation with the femme-y type girl, the other boi would butt in.
(via liquorinthefront)
Every single time.

"Look," Sarah whispered.  "She's cockblocking her." 



We stared at the lesbians, transfixed by the awkwardness.
(by thom s.)
Me: Dude, dude, watch this, they're talking, they're talking, she's gonna do it again, watch.
            (other boi breaks in)


Sarah:  Bam!  Total cockblock! What do you call guys call that?  If it's women?

Me:  Oh.  Like, what do dykes call it?  


Sarah:  Yeah.


Me:  Um.  Huh. We don't really have a name for that.  I guess "cockblocking" doesn't work.


Sarah:  What about "vadge-dodge"?
leslienice
I see girls cockblocking one another at the bars fairly often.  


But goddammit, words have power and Sarah's right:  


We need a better word for "cockblocking", i.e. moving in on one lesbian's play for a woman. 


We need a word of our own.  
via hipcumon
And so, for the first time here on Effing Dykes, I'm creating a !!!!!COMMENTS CHALLENGE: !!!!
for y'allfags.


Who can think up the best dyke synonym for "cockblock"?


Something better than a "vadge-dodge?"


***THERE WILL BE A PRIZE!!!***


And not a sucky one, either.  It's a good prize.  
Plus then everyone will know how witty you are.


Do it for the good of homokind.  
Let's make a word.


Cleverest lesbian version of "cockblock" wins!

191 comments:

  1. My friends call it cockblocking usually, but my friend Claire once told me (in a very loud, very drunk stage-whisper, not more than two feet from the girl I was into) that she couldn't accept my offer to come over and play video games with us, because she didn't want to be a "Vageen-screen" ... I'd never heard it before and I haven't since, but I kind of like it.

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  2. The need for a girl-specific version of "cockblock" is a weekly concern; here is what my friends and I have been trying on:

    boxblock
    clamjam (but there's some noun-verb confusion there that we're feeling hesitant about)

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. we say beaver-impeder in my circle of friends...

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  5. I've heard TwatSwat bandied about, on occasion.

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  6. haha i like 'vageen-screen' but we usually just say 'cockblock,' too. the genital confusion doesn't bother me in the slightest. i guess to stay in the spirit of things, 'twatblock' or 'boxing you out' (...like in basketball? i dunno, i'm not a sportslez) might work.

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  7. twatblock! that's was the phrase I used during my year of the drought. I even might have even made an urban dictionary post for the counterpart, the "twat tease" (http://twat-tease.urbanup.com/4930069)...but who remembers those sort of things, really?

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  8. Clit-snatch? Dyke-swipe? Cunt-shunt?

    I hope "shunt" means what I want it to mean.

    -Claire

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  9. For passively getting in the way of someone getting laid, friends and I have used boxblock. Personally though, I've felt that we need a more specific term for getting in the way because you want to fuck the person someone else already has designs on. A friend came up with snatch grab, but the jury is still out on that one.

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  10. beaver dammed
    booby trapped

    I like booby trap for its comic appeal, but beaver dammed (also written as beaver damned) is more truthy.

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  11. Definition of SHUNT

    : to divert by or as if by a shunt;

    EUREKA! IT WORKS!

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  12. beaver dammed! nice

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  13. I've heard "clamjam," but usually just stick with "cockblock".

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  14. CUNTPUNT. It can only be CUNTPUNT.

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  15. I've had a shitty shitty SHITTY day. In ways that don't even matter. I mean, not a real "bad things happened to good people" shitty day, just a shitty day. So I reeeeeeeally needed this post. I have nothing to contribute except laughing so hard my tummy hurts and I can't breathe. Oh god. Finally that headache is letting up its grip. THANK YOU!!!! ROFL

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  16. convenientlyPortableLesbianDecember 3, 2010 at 1:47 AM

    cooch-mooch? clam-slam? taco-blocko? muff-snuff?

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  17. I like beaver-impeder and dyke-swipe :-)

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  18. Minge impinge!
    (maybe minge is just a U.K. term for vadge? Usually i don't like it but in this phrase it has a glorious ring)

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  19. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "scissorcepting" all are quite good though...

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  20. i was going to suggest my own, but nothing tops 'beaver impeder' that is just excellent!

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  21. Muff-cuff. Snatch-clash. Cooch-scooch.

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  22. Twat swatting! A comedian came up with that one, Dane Cook maybe? I think it's wonderful and use it all the time.

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  23. I was going to go with clamjam but since someone's already called that one, I'm going to go with either cuntstunt or vagected.

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  24. am I the only one who really likes vadge-dodge? xD

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  25. i know it has been said but clam slam is for reals what we call it around here.

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  26. could also go with dyke-strike, although that's a bit ambiguous, or ladysnatched... layblocked? nice and gender neutral? lay-delayed. laywaylaid. laybetrayed. I'll stop now.

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  27. HAHAHAHA!!! Clitorference gets my vote. Brilliant! "Whoa, she is totally running clitorference on her"...oooh, what about "vagectomy"...as in figuratively cutting the potential vag out of the other interested parties plans?

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  28. How about a football reference? "Stacking the box" refers to a defensive strategy where the players try to prevent a run by bringing extra pressure on the offense. Often they hope to force a fumble and gain possession.

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  29. Clitorference is amazing. It definitely rolls off the tongue the smoothest. ...heh.

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  30. Scissorcepting has my vote!

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  31. My friends and I use a term I coined
    "twatswat"

    "I was talking to that girl from before, the one with the scarf when it's not cold. Yeah her, and Jenny totally fucking twatswatted me"
    "I can't stand that girl"
    Like so.

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  32. Va jay jay play, as in...

    "She was hittin up the sweet piece I'd had my eye on so I made a va jay jay play to secure my position."

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  33. Clitorference and Scissorcepting are great, but VAGECTED in big rubber stamp lettering will always have a special place in my heart now. <3

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  34. Hahah An ever brilliant post Krista. I have to admit that I check back every day just to make sure there's not a new entry up yet and I nearly pee my pants when you upload :)
    In regards to the gayest straight girl in the world: Well, no she isn't. I have a best friend the same; she wears trashy clothes and ripped fishnets, biker boots, she thrifts with me, won't eat meat or wear fir, points out pretty girls for me to oogle, and she even has sex with me on a regular-ish basis but she is STRAIGHT. Straight, straight, straight. It does my head in. But I think she deserves the title you gave Sarah. :)

    Ummm, as for a "cockblock" for girls, these are my pitiful attempts :)

    snatch-catch
    cooch-mooch
    cooter-mooter
    fur-deter
    beaver-reliever
    muff-stuff
    clam-ram

    pussy-plug
    poon-plug
    cunny-cork
    snatch-seal
    fanny-foiler
    slit-sealer

    Yeah, I may have used a dirty thesaurus hehe XD I had fun doing this.

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  35. I have two friends who are my gayest straight friends. One of them, Shelbie, is actually my lesbian role model (LRM) because she can spit better game than me, dresses "gayer" than I, and is just all around the kind of lesbian I strive to be.

    But I like clamjam as an alternative, though I use cockblock because I'm too lazy to try to explain clamjam all the time.

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  36. Sadly this won't contain a new word, but it will contain an interesting fact. that church sign at the beginning of the post? that shit was right down the street from me in ohio. i fucking saw that before anyone put it in the newspaper and laughed me ass off. somewhere around here i have a picture of myself in front of it, looking as gay as ever (which is basically every day.)

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  37. Pussy picked
    Snatch crashed
    Dyke swiped
    Thwarted
    (va) giney stymied
    chick checked
    boobie looted
    snatch tackled
    crotch botched
    broad robbed
    booty (oc)cluded
    Butch Blocked
    Butch baffled
    Boi foiled
    tongue tied
    strap slapped

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  38. We ALWAYS say Clam Jam up here. :P I'm surprised at you, Krista.

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  39. My friends and I always call that cuntblocking. I can't behind referring to it as cockblocking because the genital thing so weird. I mean, I don't HAVE a cock.

    I freaking LOVE scissorcepted and clitorference. Those are freaking amazing. They get my vote.

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  40. beaver impeder and taco-blocko are my favorite! i legitimately burst out laughing at the latter! and i LOVE clitorference

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  41. Boi-decoy.

    But clitorference should win hands down.

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  42. In Philly, there's a whole sentence -- "Don't block the box!" -- referring to the street sign and working for the queer community all at once.
    I enjoy that quite a bit.
    Our queer drag troupe says "help a king out."
    But recognizing that these are sentences and not a term.. let's try on a few other pant-sizes.

    Cuntstop

    Cuntplug

    Tacoshield

    Fistbump (don't want to miss the hole...)

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  43. Clitorference is definitely the best one!!

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  44. gonna stick with vadgedodge.i thought of shunned cunt. i dunno if anybody thought of that before me.

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  45. My friends and I have been callin it box blocking for years

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  46. beaver-impeder is probably the best thing in the world. i will add it to my vernacular immediately.

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  47. I'm putting a vote for any of beaver-impeder, clitorference, and scissorcept.

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  48. Scissorcepted, clitorference... ladies, your brilliance astounds me. Those two get my vote.

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  49. I've always called it clamblocking. It doesn't quite roll of the tongue as well, though.

    Scissorcept, beaver-impeder, and clitorference are hilarious. Please, can we add all of those to our lesbionic lexicon?

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  50. I vote for "cliterference".

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  51. I love clam-slam. it sounds more aggressive than clam jam.
    Where do I get a tailored men's suit (as in, tailored to a female shape)? Apart from Yves St. Laurent? Or does your friend Sarah have the bucks to buy a men's suit, and have it tailored to her?

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  52. Clitorference gets my vote! Brilliant!

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  53. Minge impinge is probably the best thing I've heard this week.

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  54. The "snatch" snatch. As in, "Dude, I totally just got snatch snatched by that girl over there in the tailored men's suit."

    Pussy Pirate?
    Box embezzled?

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  55. what about "giney jipped"?

    also, when i played soccer, we used the term "muff punt".

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  56. woohoo! Glad people like my term "clitorference"...my MFA is paying off mom and dad :)

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  57. OMG, after reading the comments, I got nothin'.

    But I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes.

    Thank you.

    And I can't wait to see which is one (two, or three) are selected.

    hugs from HW (your friendly neighborhood straight chick).

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  58. Always cuntblock. It's a big insult when a friend thinks you're cuntblocking.

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  59. cat = pussy = vag

    catnapped = pussynapped = vagnapped.

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  60. "caslapas"-stoppus

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  61. Hott on the snail trail...

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  62. I vote for:

    -twat swat (anagram double score points!)
    -cunt shunt

    then you can add -er as a suffix, for 3-syllables max if you need to shout it angrily.

    "You effing twat swatter/cunt shunter!"

    Or what about... snatch axed?

    "Dammit I'm gettin' snatch axed! Grr!"

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  63. gosh these are hilarious... i always just said vag-blocked. well, in my head, not out loud so much cuz i would likely just get an eye roll in return.

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  64. All the lesbians I know (and usually, it's the butches/bois/tops/dildo-wielding ones who bring it up most, anyway) call it cockblocking, and I don't have any better suggestions.

    HOWEVER, I would just like to say that I, too, love to eat delicious things while reading about hungry adventurers. (Not starving kids in Darfur, because that's just cruel. But the fun kind of hungry.) My all-time top eating-while-the-characters-can't books are the Lord of the Rings series. The Hobbits are all, "But what about second breakfast?" and I go have second breakfast. Or third lunch. Or whatever. It's awesome and I'm delighted to discover that I'm not the only one!

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  65. One of my favorite homo-boys, insisting that lesbians cannot cock block, what with our not having anatomical cocks, began using the phrase "vadge-guard". It's sort of catching on, but we all know it's not the phrase we're really looking for. Vageen Screen wins.

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  66. scissorcepting and clitorference are definitely my favorites!

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  67. I use cockblock and I think it's funny.

    Of the above though, I love cunt shunt (and also ew). And snatch snatch is kind of awesome.

    Points go as well to cuntpunt (because it's a threat and a gerund).

    And I gotta say, wtf, other girl named Brigid?

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  68. twatswatting. that is all.

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  69. I like cockblock.
    I like how it genderfucks.

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  70. Got to be honest, I'll still use cockblock, however heteronormative and sexist.

    Still, I like clitorfensive when used in a sentence and clamjam on the basis that the word 'clam' usually makes me giggle.

    Either way, the creation of all these potential lesbian-specific phrases has enriched our community and I smugly applaud all of you.

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  71. clitorference, scissorcepting, and beaver impeder FTW!

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  72. I normally just use cockblock but one of my guy friends once referred to it as a cunt punt.

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  73. Gotta be either Vageen-Screen or beaver-impeder, both had me rolling!!

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  74. Thank you for loving my term scissorcepting! I would like to thank my friend wine for that.

    Clitorference also makes me laugh - kudos to you who came up with that.

    And next time you watch football, try substituting our two terms in... "And the ball was just scissorcepted!" "Flag for clitorference."

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  75. was gonna say beaver blocker or beaver dammer... but i think they were already used, so....!
    venus fly trap. as in 'she totally venus fly trapped her'.
    or for the purposes of simplicity, just plain 'dammed' works. because you know, who would want that??

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  76. box block is my fave.

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  77. to DanniDoll
    ummmm what the shit?
    your straight friend that has 'regular-ish' gay sex, im gonna say NOT SO STRAIGHT!
    yeahhh im gonna say krista's friend sarah gets to keep her title, sorry

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  78. I'm in love with both "clitorference" and "vagected". Those will assimilate into my daily lexicon with SO much ease. They also work well together: for instance, I imagine as a result of clitorference, some homegirl would get vagected.

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  79. I suggest: Devaginator -- sort of like "The Terminator" -- same difference when you think about it.

    When I run into a devaginator, I put on my best NYC cabbie accent, turn my nemesis and say: Whadda you? I'm tawking here!

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  80. i like how the post went from reading harry potter to other terms of cock block... :))

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  81. Cock block is crude and sudden.
    How about Cunt-check? Think hockey.

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  82. Love cunt check, LOVE clitorference and ABSOLUTELY ADORE Scissorception. I have to say, you, my fellow Nib Noshers are BRILLIANT

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  83. I always just said twatblock, but clitoference and scissorcepting had me rolling!

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  84. i say cuntblock. you know. just makes sense.

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  85. Okay, so these are all ridiculous and awesome... but I'm still stuck on the fact that I thought I was the ONLY ONE who liked to eat historically accurate feasts while reading about starving kids in YA literature. Eating the things that were actually in the hamper swiped by Miss Minchin in A Little Princess and baking homemade bread and butter to eat while reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long Winter are two of my faves.

    And also, Shabanu, Daughter of the Wind is a sweet-ass book.

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  86. I use the term "cunt punt". It usually gets some laughs.

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  87. My friends and I use several words, but generally we say boxblock

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  88. There are some great suggestions here. I've read cuntshunt and boxblock but how about cunt-shutter?

    And please don't kill me, but that hot lezzie in your post, the one with a leather jacket, big grey knitted scarf and kinda wavy hair? It's a gay boy and he's like 17 (I found his blog a while back). Sorry, to be the bearer of bad news ;-) Could've fooled me, though.

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  89. Aw man, someone else already posted "beaver dam" - that's the one I use with my friends.

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  90. dike-a-phragm
    bahahaha.....ha....heh....uh....

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  91. clitorference....GENIUS!

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  92. my vote goes to boxblock. it's not too anatomically-specific that you can't say it loudly around the heteros, but it gets the point across. and vagblock. more anatomical but equally accurate.

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  93. It's definitely box block. It has always been box block. If you don't say box block, you just aren't in the loop.

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  94. in green bay, WI we call it a twatblock.. or at least that what my group of friends call it... :)

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  95. We've been saying "twat block" for years.

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  96. p.s. I just ready everyone's suggestions and I don't think one can use the word "snatch" as a verb when referring to cunts because it's another word for it. It's like saying fucking fuck.

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  97. bucket bump. . .like that lewis c.k joke.

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  98. How about "Bulldozing" - violent combative acts that take place among female butches, aggressives, bull dykes or type A lesbos in hot pursuit of a rare female doe.


    EG. "That biotch just bulldozed me out of the room, now I will never mack it with Katie the Straighty." cry cry.

    or

    "Look, Laurana, I just bulldozed Tina out of the picture, and managed to arrange a naked photo session with Sherina!" cheers!

    or, as an informal warning--

    "Watch out for that tough bitch Zania, you might get bulldozed." good luck!

    thanks

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  99. marginally related to the conversation-

    i motion for "coot boot" to become a new term for rejection.

    as in, "i asked this boi out but she gave me the coot boot"

    also, i vote for clam-jam

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  100. cuntraception, clitorference, scissorception, and minge-impinge are all RAD. Also, for simplicity, box-block is effective.

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  101. Simple.... Twat swatter

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  102. Another vote for dental dam. Tried and true.

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  103. yeah, usually me and my faggettes use boxblock or clamjam .. from all the repeats here it looks like we already have words, lol

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  104. "Clitsplit" is what we use :)

    But I think "clitorference" is pretty damn good.

    "Vag dodge" doesn't rhyme, and it sounds like someone is running from vag... so that's weird.

    "Scissor scepting" -- good, too.

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  105. God.......I'd love to have two 20-30 something bois vying for my attention... *sigh*

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  106. Clitorference is by far the most witty and deserving of the prize which I'm hoping is a book on pick up lines or something cheezy like that I also like vagected a lot....Hilarious ladies!!!

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  107. i call it the 'cunt shunt'
    ahem. that is a little rude though.
    i love love LOVE 'clitoference' and must start using it all the time.

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  108. My friends and I call it "Rack-jack" as in.."Did you see that? I totally got Rack-jacked..Not coool!"

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  109. Cunt-blunt! I have used that for years

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  110. Cunt-Shunt :)

    SHUNT:
    The original meaning referred to the act or process of turning aside or moving to an alternate course.

    -Urban dictionary-

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  111. I call it a "vadge tradge, aka a "vaggity tragedy."

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  112. ohmigod every one i read was the best ever until i got to cuntraception. winner, hands down...
    we just always called it vajblocking...might not rhyme but it does the trick

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  113. SCISSORCEPT
    what a gem

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  114. look at the amount of comments on this one!

    shows how mad we all get when we get CUNT SHUNT(ed)

    always been cuntshunt always will be

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  115. pussy swiped (v.)

    can be abbreviated as p-swiped

    also

    snatch bandit (n.)

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  116. Clit-Trip

    'That bitch just totally Clit-Tripped me when I was goin' in for the kill...'

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  117. Hmm....cockblock. When a guy blocks another guy from getting his cock in some chick. So, we need a word for when a girl stops another girl from getting some action in her lower lips.

    Coochstopper.
    Clamtackler.

    The term "clamjam" is also defined multiple times on Urban Dictionary, BUT. Is it the best?

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  118. I also like dental-dam. As in, "she's being such a dental-dam" or "you just got dental-dammed". My vote, it works.

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  119. how about this... (n my ghetto black gurl voice complete with neck and eye rolling) bitc* stop clit-trickin me! (stop tricking me out of my new found clit) rofl

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  120. i'm really needing a new post...real bad...

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  121. well id have to go with vagina save or "beaver damned"

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  122. We've always gone with 'clam jam', although it does have the downside of sounding like a symptom of a particuarly nasty STI...

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  123. I like cunt shunt, box block, and scissorcept. I would like to add MUFF BUFF.

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  124. oooooo, I just noticed dental damned. noice.

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  125. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  126. ok, last comment, I promise: VAGECTION. this is amazing. this blog post is clearly my favorite thing.

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  127. it's called blockin' the box, boo.

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  128. Personally, I've always used the term "cunt-stopping me," though it hasn't caught on as well as i'd hope and I still end up saying cock-blocking for like 90% of the time (actually...more than 90%)

    whatevs. I say cunt-stop or cunt-block.

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  129. how about cooter precluder? A tad academic (and tounge twisty), but the meaning works perfectly and i like it better than mooter, booter, and cabooter.

    COOTER PRECLUDER!

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  130. Bahahaha, I like vageen-screen and cuntraception. Clitorferance is witty but those two I'd actually say irl.

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  131. hey guys this has nothing to do with the post but is there anyway you can like send a message to krista or any way to talk to her other then posting on here? not looking for a response from her just would like to say something. oh and to be fair. CUNT SHUNT is whats up forreal.=]

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  132. I know that if you use "vadge dodge" to a straight person, they get it. Actually, I used it to day at school. It worked quite well with out being too crass or objectionable. A very important quality here in Cincinnati.
    'Cause it's OK to be out, and OK to have this short hair but not to be CRASS.

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  133. Clitorference! It rolls of the tongue!

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  134. although scissorception and clitorference are fucking hilarious sports references, i am proposing, specifically in the event of someone stealing the gal you been eyeing:

    snatch-snatch. it's funny and can be used different ways, like

    "i can't BUHLIEVE mallory pulled a snatch-snatch on me when everyone knew i'd been eyeing sarah since her break-up"

    or "i want some snatch-snatch"

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  135. cunt shunt or twat swat defiantly =]

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  136. i can't take credit for this, but i very much like beaver dam:

    http://i.imgur.com/NXBl2.jpg

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  137. Me and my friends always referred to it as boxlocking lol

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  138. I've seen cooch-block used. :D

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  139. muff rob. example:

    "dude, sophie just got muff robbed."
    "yup." ...

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  140. twatblock is always the best. although my gay best friend (GBF) believes that it "takes a cock to block a twat" in the case of his many instances of twatblocking me and my gf.

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  141. Cunt bunt.
    Muff snuff.
    Sorry, those are all I got, but "cunt check" definitely gets my vote.

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  142. I was going in for a snatch'n'grab but I got tongue-tied. Kudos! Love this!

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  143. http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldcez2kmxc1qb6i6bo1_400.jpg

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  144. Pussy swiped or P-swiped is now my new #1. I vote for P-swiped.

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  145. How about
    Jewel Heisted,
    Muffducted,
    Toe jammed
    Rim Robbed
    Nib Nabbed
    And...Cuntracepted?????

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  146. Crotch Block... completely gender neutral for the androgenous types.

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  147. twatswat is the best

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  148. I say cunt shunt. Apparently so do others!

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  149. Maybe I missed it, but I use "rack jack" all the time and it always feels right.

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  150. I never get hugnry while reading, but whenever I see a movie with a special food theme in it, I crave that food for the next couple of days. Some examples:
    Howl's moving castle: Bacon with eggs and bread.
    Chocolat: hot chocolate.
    Marie Antoinette: Cakes of any kind. especially macarons and cupcakes with lots of frosting.
    TV show Dr Who had caused me to go on a rampage for jelly babies...

    This list could just go on forever! Any movie with something edable in it, and my tummy's growling :)

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  151. I quite like crotch-block but also how about snatch-catch?

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  152. Nevermind that this comment is about twelve years too late, but HOLY SHIT. I have been trying to remember the name of that damn book for about ten years! I read it obsessively when I was 13 or 14. I mean, multiple multiple times. Then when I got older and thought hey I should go re-read that awesome book I could never remember the title! Damn. Now I have to go hunt a copy down.

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  153. I'm just reading LITERALLY every page of this blog as of yesterday and I'm shocked that Birkenstock Block hasn't been posted. I thought it was at least a little bit used.

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  154. Scissorcepting! ahahahah

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  155. Don't know how far behind I am on this, but I think the best word for a lesbian cock-block would have to be.... Beaver Dam.

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