Ohhhhh my god......
I can't walk.
I can't even walk.
I have overdone it.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
'Gluttony' is one of the 7 Deadlies for a reason.
You know how, when you were 9, and you were over at your friend's house next door, and her cool aunt was babysitting, and lounging on the front stoop wearing her curly red hair up and real big hoop earrings and you could see her bra and that she had an old blue tattoo of someone's name over the top of one boob, and she was smoking?
leeann [via myparentswereawesome]
And you were like, Can I smoke one too? and instead of saying, Are you crazy, who do you think you are, you're 9 years old, smoking is bad for you, she said, Sure, go ahead, but we're going to smoke the whole pack...?
[via anne l.- d.]
And you were so excited because finally, here was a cool adult who took you seriously, and you reached for a cigarette, and she lit it, and you choked and smoked and gasped your way through a third of it, and then promptly puked all over the porch; tears pouring out of your eyes and vomit burning and dripping out your nose while she laughed, saying, no, no, you wanted to smoke, now you're gonna finish the whole pack, and you never, NEVER touched a cigarette again?
This is kind of like that.
Too much fucking.
So I thought it would be amazing to have anonymous lesbian sex for 5 days in a row.
I neglected to factor in a really important detail:
Every night, it was a different woman.
[via misguided ghosts]
A fresh horse.
A new player, tagged in to replace the tiring quarterback.
No one else was having a Week of Debauchery.
Everyone else was just having a night.
These women were not tired. They were not sore. They had relentless energy, enthusiasm for their work, and were determined to wear me the hell out.
I have another date tonight.
What am I even going to do?
Mama can't take another pounding.
I leave for Mexico tomorrow.
It can't be too soon.
Now, queeries, I realize I haven't told you ANY good details.
Rest assured I am writing shit down, so all I'll have to do in Mexico is hit "Publish." We're going to do a separate post for each date, starting with...
THE TUESDAY OF TERROR.
Now don't be pissed. I'm gonna go lie on a beach and heal my 'center.'
concha [via myparentswereawesome]
This Week of Debauchery has been epic.
And it ain't over yet.
I have to go lie down now in a bathtub for the next 3 hours with a cold compress, some Excedrin, and a mango protein shake.
Be careful what you wish for, gayelles...