Friday, June 4, 2010

'Cause You Just Might Get It

                                                                  [via shapeshift]
             
Ohhhhh my god......

I can't walk.

I can't even walk.


I have overdone it. 


Why did I think this was a good idea?

'Gluttony' is one of the 7 Deadlies for a reason.

It's like:

You know how, when you were 9, and you were over at your friend's house next door, and her cool aunt was babysitting, and lounging on the front stoop wearing her curly red hair up and real big hoop earrings and you could see her bra and that she had an old blue tattoo of someone's name over the top of one boob, and she was smoking? 

                               leeann [via myparentswereawesome]

And you were like, Can I smoke one too?  and instead of saying, Are you crazy, who do you think you are, you're 9 years old, smoking is bad for you, she said, Sure, go ahead, but we're going to smoke the whole pack...? 

                                          [via anne l.- d.]

And you were so excited because finally, here was a cool adult who took you seriously, and you reached for a cigarette, and she lit it, and you choked and smoked and gasped your way through a third of it, and then promptly puked all over the porch; tears pouring out of your eyes and vomit burning and dripping out your nose while she laughed, saying, no, no, you wanted to smoke, now you're gonna finish the whole pack, and you never, NEVER touched a cigarette again?


This is kind of like that.

Too much fucking. 

So I thought it would be amazing to have anonymous lesbian sex for 5 days in a row.
                                                                    [via deadgirls]
I neglected to factor in a really important detail:

Every night, it was a different woman.

                                                                 [via misguided ghosts]

A fresh horse.
A new player, tagged in to replace the tiring quarterback.


No one else was having a Week of Debauchery.  
Everyone else was just having a night.


These women were not tired.  They were not sore.  They had relentless energy, enthusiasm for their work, and were determined to wear me the hell out.

Every time.

I have another date tonight.
What am I even going to do?

Mama can't take another pounding.

I leave for Mexico tomorrow.
It can't be too soon.

Now, queeries, I realize I haven't told you ANY good details. 

Rest assured I am writing shit down, so all I'll have to do in Mexico is hit "Publish."  We're going to do a separate post for each date, starting with...

THE TUESDAY OF TERROR.


Now don't be pissed.  I'm gonna go lie on a beach and heal my 'center.' 
                                                     concha [via myparentswereawesome]

This Week of Debauchery has been epic. 
Awesome.
Amazing.
And it ain't over yet.

I have to go lie down now in a bathtub for the next 3 hours with a cold compress, some Excedrin, and a mango protein shake.

Be careful what you wish for, gayelles...

35 comments:

  1. Wellllll fuck.
    You're my hero.
    Good job. I can;t believe youre still doing another one.

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  2. no waaaay! you're really coming to Mexico?

    That means you're going to be in the fucking same country as me, I could stalk you or something!

    xD

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  3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA =X

    I'm sooooo curious xD Don't hide any details!

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  4. FUCKING POST THEM ALREADY KRISTA. YOU'RE BEING A BIG FAT CLITTEASE.
    POST ABOUT YOUR DATES.
    COME ON.
    I WANNA HEAR ABOUT ALL THE SEXY BUTCHES.
    TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME.

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  5. you can't end it with that! tell me that dete's! grrrrrrrrrl, what the eff?!

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  6. I figured the first debauchery update post would include something like "should have packed more lube". Cannot WAIT for the dirty details!! :D

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  7. Woooooooo!!! I want more!! I WANT MOREEEE!!!
    *thatswhatshesaid*
    EXCEPT NOT IN THIS CASE!

    Ooh. Win.

    Anyway.

    Deets. Ahora mismo.

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  8. 'Cause You Just Might Get it


    I wish you would come to Vegas!

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  9. hahahahaha i totally want to do this some day. when i'm single though. i'm monogamous. but oh my god it's so awesome.
    kudos to you.

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  10. I was hoping for details but I like a good tease too! You are my hero. And you really need an action figure crafted in your image.

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  11. Ooh honey, I wish I had your problems. Details!

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  12. I love how the last line and the title of the post go together. I'm a nerd, yes.

    Also, you are ridiculous! I can't believe you did this! Ridiculous AND AWESOME!

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  13. OMG. Just when I think you can't make me laugh any harder ROFL Oh jeez is it wrong to laugh at your pain? Haha ROFL

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  14. Your posts are starting to win me over to the casual sex side! Ooh, you should do a post on home remedies for aches after too much sex. Or too much masturbation in my case :p

    What a trouper you are :')

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  15. Oooh... I just found this and thought of your Week of Debauchery. {still waiting, PS}

    this is not a spam link - perhaps something that might come in handy for all your blogging efforts ;)

    http://www.ufunk.net/en/gadgets/g-point-offrez-une-souris-sexy-equipee-dun-clitoris-a-votre-pc/

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  16. I hope that this title makes someone else have the irresistible urge to sing the Pussycat Dolls. I know they are revolting pop but, with the word "pussy" in their name, what homo can help loving them?

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  17. Details NOW! Week of Debauchery possibly the best idea ever. *writes on to-do list*

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  18. You make me so IMPATIENT.
    but i love you

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  19. I like Week of Debauchery, might have to blog about that. But how would that differ from my everyday existence? lol

    whenredmeansgo.blogspot.com

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  20. I'm possibly one of the only Straight, male viewers you have(What straight guy reads blogs like this!? Oh...I do :3) So I just thought I'd let you know, that you're awesome, your blog is awesome, and your job is wonderful...for about the first year or so...but anyways, glad I found this little internet treasure...You has made Kuronaki's day, with your wonderful details about what goes on inside gay girls minds, this shit is exciting! Anyways, looks forward to your next post!

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  21. Where the eff is our effing Kristen? Is she still effing around in Seattle? Were there so many offers that she had to extend her week of debauchery? Or is she quite possibly the web's biggest tease?

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  22. OH MY GOD! I AM GOING CRAZY WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT POST!

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  23. So it's called a 'center' eh?

    I guess you learn something new every day.

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  24. Oh Lord, you just gave me an idea for Pride Week in NY next week... Too bad you're leaving the mainland.

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  25. please please please post more. do you like seeing baby dykes on their knees begging? because that's where i am right now. i know it's only been 5 or 6 days but i can't take the anticipation!

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  26. who is kristen?

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  27. I think her name is Krista. The blogger that is.

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  28. krista - did your last date murder you!?
    because that would be the only reason not posting in so long - especially about your week of debauchery - would be acceptable.

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  29. OH EM GEE,
    we're all waiting for you!
    respectfully, of course.
    no pressure or anything ;)

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  30. Yeah, it is Krista, not Kristen.

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  31. Alright alright I'm home!!!
    Post coming soon, working on it right now.
    Bossy asses!

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