Tuesday, March 16, 2010
"Tell me again about how naked they'll be."
It was Friday night.
Tawnya, Mea, CJ, and I were in a taxi in Chicago. We were on our way to see Naked Girls Reading, a monthly show where buck-naked girls, um, read.
We were going because Tawnya wants to start a Naked Girls Reading branch in Minneapolis.
This month, the Naked Girls would be reading famous radio broadcasts.
'Excited' would be an understatement.
Tawnya sighed heavily.
"They'll be naked."
Me: How naked?
Tawnya: Totally naked.
Me: Totally totally? Or like a-skin-colored-g-string-and-bare-boobs naked?
Tawnya: Absolutely, completely naked.
Me: You're sure.
Me: No little underpants? No nipple covering? No artistic draping of sheets?
Mea: Naked girls reading!!!
CJ: This part of town looks abandoned, but it's actually full of artist's lofts. I wonder how much a studio here would be...
Me: I can't believe they're going to be naked. Isn't this illegal? I'm so excited!!!! Naked girls! Reading!
Mea: Naked Girls Reading!
Tawnya: I know!
All four of us settled into the back row of chairs. Mea and I kept trading glances of amazement. We were going to watch naked girls read. This was like a dream come true.
Smart + naked = an elegant evening out.
*Fun Fact!* I used to make my ex strip down and read to me from my literary theory textbooks.
The Naked Girls, one by one, trotted behind a see-through screen onstage. They matter-of-factly pulled ALL THEIR CLOTHES off and draped them over the top of the screen.
Then they sauntered into the light, waved casually at us, and curled into comfy chairs. They pulled out their radio scripts.
There were six Naked Girls. I saw all of them without their underpants on!
It was like being in the living room of someone very, very lucky.
The Naked Girls began to read from The Most Dangerous Game, a story broadcasted on CBS radio in 1945.
It's about a millionaire who's so unchallenged by big-game hunting that he decides to hunt a real challenge - other men.
It's a fucking creepy story.
The best part about the script, though, is that the girls were reading it naked.
They were fun girls, too. One had an atrocious Australian accent and there were people planted in the audience to make terrible sound effects. The Naked Girls were cracking up. The audience was cracking up.
I was looking at as many boobs as I wanted.
People had brought wine and the story was gripping.
Everyone was having the best Friday night ever.
Don't you love it when it's ok to see titties in the name of Art?
I found myself looking at the Naked Girls' faces and thinking how beautiful, beautiful they were. What a gift.
All anyone wants is to see naked girls.
All I ever do is picture women without their clothes.
On this magical night, six gorgeous Naked Girls were like, "What? Did you want to see these?" and BANG!
No imagination needed.
I pretended they were all my girlfriends and doing their PhD homework in my apartment.
I cannot fucking believe how awesome it was. Naked Girls Reading!
I know you're dying to go, so:
Naked Girls Reading happens in 10 American cities, and more cities get added all the time. Go to http://nakedgirlsreading.com/ to find out how to see some naked girls read!
The girls had matching landing strips.
Go with God, friends.