Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Birthday Suits + Intellectual Pursuits

"Tell me again about how naked they'll be."

It was Friday night. 

Tawnya, Mea, CJ, and I were in a taxi in Chicago.  We were on our way to see Naked Girls Reading, a monthly show where buck-naked girls, um, read. 
From books.

We were going because Tawnya wants to start a Naked Girls Reading branch in Minneapolis. 

This month, the Naked Girls would be reading famous radio broadcasts.

'Excited' would be an understatement.

Tawnya sighed heavily. 
"They'll be naked."

Me: How naked?

Tawnya: Totally naked.

Me: Totally totally? Or like a-skin-colored-g-string-and-bare-boobs naked?

Mea: Jesus.

Tawnya: Absolutely, completely naked.

Me: You're sure.

Tawnya: Yes.

Me: No little underpants?  No nipple covering?  No artistic draping of sheets?

Tawnya: Naked.

Mea: Naked girls reading!!! 

CJ: This part of town looks abandoned, but it's actually full of artist's lofts.  I wonder how much a studio here would be...

Me: I can't believe they're going to be naked. Isn't this illegal? I'm so excited!!!! Naked girls! Reading!

Mea: Naked Girls Reading!

Tawnya: I know!

Me: Naked!

We pulled up to Michelle L'Amour's studio.  She and her husband, Franky Vivid, are the ones who thought up this dream of an event.  I could kiss them. 

We were late.  It was almost time to start. The Naked Girls were milling about, with glasses of champagne, in tiny red t-shirts and tiny black underpants. This was their before-show attire.  I know because I checked.  Btw, the t-shirts they were wearing said "Girls Gone Oscar Wilde."  Heart.

All four of us settled into the back row of chairs.  Mea and I kept trading glances of amazement.  We were going to watch naked girls read.  This was like a dream come true. 

Smart + naked = an elegant evening out.

*Fun Fact!* I used to make my ex strip down and read to me from my literary theory textbooks.

The Naked Girls, one by one, trotted behind a see-through screen onstage.  They matter-of-factly pulled ALL THEIR CLOTHES off and draped them over the top of the screen.  

Then they sauntered into the light, waved casually at us, and curled into comfy chairs.  They pulled out their radio scripts.

There were six Naked Girls.  I saw all of them without their underpants on!

It was like being in the living room of someone very, very lucky.

The Naked Girls began to read from The Most Dangerous Game, a story broadcasted on CBS radio in 1945.
It's about a millionaire who's so unchallenged by big-game hunting that he decides to hunt a real challenge - other men. 

It's a fucking creepy story. 

The best part about the script, though, is that the girls were reading it naked. 
They were fun girls, too.  One had an atrocious Australian accent and there were people planted in the audience to make terrible sound effects.  The Naked Girls were cracking up.  The audience was cracking up. 

I was looking at as many boobs as I wanted.

People had brought wine and the story was gripping. 
Everyone was having the best Friday night ever. 

Don't you love it when it's ok to see titties in the name of Art?

I found myself looking at the Naked Girls' faces and thinking how beautiful, beautiful they were.  What a gift.

All anyone wants is to see naked girls. 
All I ever do is picture women without their clothes.  
On this magical night, six gorgeous Naked Girls were like, "What?  Did you want to see these?"  and BANG
No imagination needed.

I pretended they were all my girlfriends and doing their PhD homework in my apartment. 

I cannot fucking believe how awesome it was.  Naked Girls Reading!

I know you're dying to go, so:

 Naked Girls Reading happens in 10 American cities, and more cities get added all the time.  Go to http://nakedgirlsreading.com/ to find out how to see some naked girls read! 

The girls had matching landing strips. 
Go with God, friends.


  1. I'm thrilled to my bones. Naked girls reading. A dream come true. Will they ever do this in LA? Do girls in LA read?

  2. omigod... I'm at work and that site is blocked so I can't see whether SF is one of the cities it happens in!!!!!! noooooo!

    well, if it *isn't*, I may have to start it in SF.

    and I also just might steal your idea and make my girlfriend read from my literary theory textbook. naked.

  3. oh noes! delete the double comment! ack!

  4. Alphafemme, it doesn't look like you're that lucky...yet. But they do have it in my city! Wonder if m'lady would be up for that. Somehow, I doubt it.
    I think I really like this idea. It's an intellectual lesbian's dream come true. But at the same time, part of me feels the need to make it a women-identified only space. I'm not sure about some aspects of it. Did anyone else get sort of weird feeling while mulling over how awesome it is?

  5. This sounds absolutely fabulous! I mean seriously. Naked girls reading! I would love to see one of these shows. Hopefully they will come to my city soon!

    Thank you for bringing this to my attention. <3

  6. So. There is a heaven. Who knew? Niiiiice.

    I like your strategy with the ladies. I sorta regret getting rid of all my old college textbooks now...

  7. I'll never be seeing that, since i live in Dumb ol Montana, unless the military loves me enuff to move me to awesometown

  8. NGR is the one thing I miss about living in Chicago. I used to try to seduce them with words: http://tr.im/SfxW

    Franky has told me that there WILL be a SF naked girls reading starting soon, so don't fret, alphafemale!

  9. I live in Chicago! How come I didn't know about this!


  10. and you didn't invite me because?


    your friend sarah

  11. Oh, be still my heart! There is a Goddess!

  12. My girlfriend sent me this video,after reading this entry I have a feeling you may appreciate the idea even more than I! :)


  13. really? no one has a problem with this? let me know when it's 'naked people reading.' not that i want to see penises, but come on.

  14. Thank you, Anonymous. While I see the liberation in it, I also feel like you're sexualizing women. And isn't that what feminism is trying to STOP? I am surprised that there was not more criticism to this.

  15. Hey, were these girls naked? ;)

  16. Heh. I sexualize women all the time, folks!

    How long have we known each other?

    I could see how it would be a problem if it was "Naked Helpless Forced-Into-The-Business Girls Reading", but these were grown-ass, intelligent women, making a choice to participate, knowingly naked, in a reading. Give them a little credit, please. Sometimes it's fun to be objectified;)

  17. I love being one of Madison's Naked Girls! It's such unique delight to allow my erotic voice and my intellectual voice to coexist. It's also a wonderful demonstration of women as sexual subjects, rather than sexual objects. Let us know when you get it started in Minnesota!

  18. This should happen in the uk!

  19. Oh, oh, I wish we had this in New Orleans. That would be really, really fabulous.