"Krista, what the hell is a Gold Star Lesbian?"My mouth fell open. Here I was with my straight friend of ten years, and she didn't know what a Gold Star Lesbian was? After all this time spent eating delicious fried food with me?
Come on!
A Gold Star Lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man. She's been gay since birth. Soooo gay that she never even thought to check out the other side. Sooooo gay that she might never have even seen a penis in real life. A Gold Star Lesbian is the gold standard - the gayest of gay.
I wish I was one.
Just kidding! If I hadn't tried boys, how would I know how infinitely superior girls are??
I've slept with boys.
It was, um, educational.
I guess.
It was, um, educational.
I guess.
Anyway! the point is - Gold Star Lesbians are finger-bangin' great. They don't have diseases. (Unless they sleep with lots of bisexuals.) They'll sleep with you when you have your period and say things like, "I think it's beautiful. It's part of being a woman" while you die laughing. They know their way around a girl.
And lots of lezzies want to be one. Gold Star Posers! There are plenty of girls trying to hide that onnnnnnne little dick-slip they had in high-school. But there's no covering it up.
Because being a Gold Star Lesbian is kind of like being an Eagle Scout. You can't always put your finger on it, but there's something good about it.
Because being a Gold Star Lesbian is kind of like being an Eagle Scout. You can't always put your finger on it, but there's something good about it.
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i'm learning so much! thanks bung!
ReplyDeleteMy star is a tarnished one, that was done long ago. However, my sweet lil wife is a gold star! YAY!
ReplyDeleteA gold star sounds a lot like a merit badge. Kudos on a blog well, er, blogged.
ReplyDeleteCordially,
Eagle Scout Dan ;-)
I've never so much as kissed a guy. Doesn't mean I know anything about girls xP
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm only a high school senior, so I guess I've got time to figure it out.
And yes, I'm sure I'm les, inexperienced and all, there is no question.
thank you for making a 13 year old who's only been kissed by girls special.
ReplyDeleteHey, please don't portray bisexuals as slutty/dirty. We can't help our sexual orientation any more than you can.
ReplyDeleteDude. Love the blog, but I have to comment. STIs do indeed get passed from female to female, even if everyone is "gold star." Especially bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, herpes, and HPV. Annd in theory, all other STIs, but the public health dollars are not exactly flowing into ladyfag-sexytime epidemiology research at the moment.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have to call you out, like Anonymous above, on the "bisexual=diseased" myth--it's exactly the myth that homo/biphobic straight folks propogated about bi dudes (just as the AIDS crisis was hitting hetero communities) It's the same tired myth, just inverted for chicks. It's a cultural pollution fear-thing that actually has nothing to do with medicine.
Thirdly, never mess with biqueer folks. ;) We have done our research, are often getting a hard time, and so we are ready for a juicy debate throwdown--anytime, anywhere. We are a fierce, intensely loyal part of the queer community. And we frikken love your blog, so get yer facts right.
Question: is the i-always-knew part necessary to get your gold star. I didn't know until I was 16, but I never slept with a guy.
ReplyDeleteThis is an offensive claim to supremacy which divides and weakens our community.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, "gold star lesbians" can absolutely have STIs, e ven if they've never slept with men or bisexuals. And, I tend to agree that this post makes it sound like bisexuals are dirty or "less" than lesbians :(
ReplyDeleteWomen are proner to STDs than men. It's a fact. Men, and not rarely, carry STDs of which they're unaware and sometimes unaffected from (like some types of HPV) and infect women. Bisexuals and "tarnished" stars have slept or still sleep with men. Hence, it's more possible that they may have got sth because of the male factor.
ReplyDeleteGold star lesbians with gold star lesbians partners shouldn't be completely at ease as far as STDs are concerned, but they can be surely more at ease than bi women due to the lack of the male factor.
As for me, another gold one here! And thank you so much for this article! It doesn't make sense to me why bi women feel insulted when the "gold star issue" is brought up. You can take pride in loving dicks (also), but we can still be proud that we don't!
There is a war of bisexual women and Gold star title going on here, but seriously, stop complaining, your insecurity is making you feel like less, not because there is a title like this out there. Stop lying, yes there are snarky users of the Golden L word but their are good and bad examples everywhere. Gold star lesbians should be able to express their pride the way bisexual women wish to as well.
ReplyDeleteAs a survivor of sexual assault, the idea of goldstar has always kind of bothered me. My first "sexual experience" was with a guy, but it was coerced sex. When people try to find out if i've slept with a man, what do i say? "Yeah I was raped"? I don't disclose that to people unless I trust them. I think trying to hierarchise lesbians based on their sexual experience with men is pretty gross. And also yeah, biphobic post :/
ReplyDeleteI feel like no one kind of lesbian is "better" than another...
ReplyDeleteI agree, I don't think it's about being better or higher, it's just being proud of the way you are. I think this gets misconstrued as hating against bisexual girls. Look there are enough problems to deal with outside of the community, we do not need anymore here.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I did find slutty bisexual girls to be deliberately hateful. Mind the hate, we need unity.
ReplyDeleteTHe bisexual female in 2012- fools around with women to elicit a response from their male counterparts? sound familiar?
ReplyDeleteI'm a Gold start and proud of it!!!
ReplyDeleteGold Star and PROUD!
ReplyDeleteGold Star and Proud as well! ;)
ReplyDeleteRape shouldn't count as sex, so no gold star tarnish there!
ReplyDeleteThis post, and every post I've ever seen like it anywhere, sickens me. "Yes, come out of the closet everyone! It does get better! You are one of us! Unity! Diversity!... Ah shit! You've fucked a dude while in the closet? Eeeeewww, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole!... What, you're bi? Fucking pancake." Yeah, this whole mentality helps KEEP people in the closet. It did me! This mentality was a HUUUUUUGE reason I stayed in the closet for so fucking long! I made many, many forays into the LG"B"T community from the time I was a teen, but was ran off by all the fucking purists out there. I rapidly got sick of being degraded for being "tainted." Even attempted suicide after trying to come out about 12 years ago. Joined a college gay straight alliance group, went to a local lesbian bar several times. NOT ONCE did I make it through a fucking hour without any lesbians calling me names for having been with a man, once they discovered I had been (and they do ask, when they learn you're recently out). NOT FUCKING ONCE. This is still the case, but I came out anyway, but this time with no illusions that I would be treated with even a modicum of decency by the fucking sneetches. Funny thing, my STRAIGHT friends and family have been unfaltering in their support. Not so much the lesbians though... It does NOT get better if you've been with the opposite sex... it gets WORSE. You come out as a lesbian, after having worked up the impressive amount of courage it takes to do so, and you expect the reaction from heterosexual society. You expect to loose friends, family, and to put yourself in the firing line as far as hetero society goes (more or less, depending on your community and how open it is). What you don't expect is to be attacked by a bunch of holier than thou "untainted" lesbians, walking around like a bunch of fucking star bellied sneetches. What you don't expect is to find yourself being attacked from both sides. Lets be honest here, you don't mean "it does get better," you really mean "it does get better if while closeted you never fucked a male, otherwise you're screwed, and we'll treat you like a second class citizen... if you're lucky." Yeah, you could say I'm bitter. You'd be right. I'm bitter as all hell to have bought the bullshit line that coming out, while hard and frequently painful, makes things better in the end, that I'd be accepted... and I am, right up until they find out I've been married, and was closeted until almost 34. BY THE WAY I DID know I was a lesbian the whole time. Just because someone took a long time to come out DOES NOT mean they weren't born gay. It DOES NOT mean they woke up one day and said "hmmmm, ya know what? I think I'm gay!" Fucking hypocrites. It's oh so horrible for heterosexuals to hate or look down on homosexuals, but perfectly alright for "untainted" homosexuals to hate or look down on EVERYONE who does not fit their standard of purity? Bigots are bigots, regardless of orientation.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to comment so thoroughly; this was very enlightening.
DeleteBTW, yes, calling yourselves "Gold Star Lesbians" IS IN ITSELF SUPREMACIST, so don't give me your "we're just proud of who we are" apologetics. It's as offensive as a white supremicist claiming they're not racist because they don't hate other races, they just believe in the "purity of the white race." Yeah, you Gold Stars, in calling yourselves that, are setting yourselves above and apart. Bigots.
ReplyDeleteGold Star and Proud!
DeleteThanks to my father who told me regarding this website, this web site is actually remarkable.
ReplyDeleteMy website ... treating acne
Maybe tidy up the comments on here?
ReplyDeleteHeaven forbid anyone might ever live in New York and come out as a Christian - if you think the reception you get from the hetero crowd is bad, you can totally guarantee that you'll lose friends, probably family, and definitely get a heap of abuse for it. I'm not trying to start a religion vs. sexuality thing, but to illustrate that it takes courage to do something different, something people surrounding you with dislike, disagree with, and "have a moral problem" with, whatever it is.
As someone who's happy with his sexuality, I'm offended by "Gold Star Lesbians" and "Gold Star Queers" alike. It's not a descriptive word - if it was it'd equate with "Purest" or "Best" or "Finest" or "Unsullied". All pejorative of others - all comparative. We're all of us human - that's the argument of the gay community when pushing for rights - sadly that's forgotten when one group or individual tries to claim bragging rights over another. I know in some quarters around here, there are people who'll only sleep with Gold Star Lesbians, and 'breaking' a GSL is a 'badge of honour' for some of the guys at a Uni, who'll ply GSLs with drink to see if they can get them into a state for their wiles to work.
Holding 'gold stars' in higher regard is worrying at best - at worst, equivalent with mental eugenics. No gas chamber, sure - but still preferred genetic material. Biphobic, too. While I got raped as a teen, I'd still say it counted as sex - just coerced, painful, horrible sex. That'd make me bisexual. But I've only ever preferred women - does that mean I'm not a Gold Star Het?
Don't think the dyke members of my family would be any happier with this post, either :/
Hi would you mind stating which blog platform you're working with? I'm looking to start my own blog
ReplyDeletein the near future but I'm having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something completely unique.
P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
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Although I respect your experience, no lesbian has to sleep with guys to know how awesome being a lesbian is. Would a straight guy ever say: "If I hadn't had experience with men, how would I know how infinitely superior women are?" Or even better, would a gay man ever say, "If I hadn't been with women, how would I know how infinitely superior men are?" No, they say "Ewww, tuna!" I don't need experience with men to define being a lesbian - that's the whole point. By the way, both me and my partner of five years are gold stars!
ReplyDeleteI've never so much as held a guy's hand, but I also didn't realize I was a lesbian until less than a year ago. Does that make me gold star? Or just a virgin?
ReplyDeleteYou lard butts, it was meant to be funny, obviously if she was really bi shaming and all that jazz, she woul've went on and on about it. Gold star is just like saying you're a virgin and proud, which I'm sure would tick someone off, but legit, chill, go live your sex life, and let others live theirs.
ReplyDelete